More than 10 years ago, we were expecting our fourth child. Back then, I knew of only one family with more than five children and having four was overwhelming to most people I came in contact with. I desperately wanted others to celebrate with us. It was then that I told our older three girls (ages 6, 4 and 1) that our job was to celebrate babies. Today we continue to celebrate each precious gift from God.
This past Monday, we celebrated the pregnancy and imminent delivery of a very dear friend of our family. They have a 16-year-old son and a 14-year-old daughter and are expecting another blessing. It was a joyous occasion as girls, young women, and adult women gathered together to bless the mother and child. They brought practical gifts such as outfits, lotions, and things for the nursery. They brought gifts from the heart such as a crocheted afghan, hand-drawn picture, and a handmade blanket. Most importantly, we spent time together praying to bless the mother and this priceless gift inside of her.
It wasn’t your typical shower, but it’s a concept I learned from Doran Richards and her ministry Blessing God’s Way. She co-authored a book entitled, Celebration of Pregnancy which describes how to have a shower-alternative that is God-centered. (You can find it on our webstore.) Blessing God’s Way is a ministry seeking to encourage women in three areas of life–maindenhood, maternity, and menopause. Last year, Doran completed a God-centered curriculum for girls and women to learn more about their bodies, specifically in the area of their menstrual cycles.
These materials will be presented at the upcoming conference, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, July 18-19, 2008 in Front Royal, VA. While I cannot endorse the material since I haven’t yet reviewed or used it myself, I can recommend that Doran’s other materials have been a blessing to my life. I believe that it will be especially helpful to moms who are looking for more biological information than is included in Lady Day.
For more information or to register, please visit: www.blessinggodsway.com.
God bless you as you celebrate the Giver of Life and the life He gives.
Yes, a new entry! Ok, so many of you may think that I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Not so. I realized that it was a bit difficult for me to keep up with my home, take care of my husband, homeschoool the girls, blog, write articles for the website, and develop new products. I found that I had to simplify. I made some changes to the commitments I had made and I’m pleased to say that I’m slowly making some adjustments that will allow me more writing time.
This past year has been a busy one for our family. My youngest daughter Abigail was baptized this year—the last of the bunch! Anna attended a tutoring center part time and I worked 5 hours a week in exchange for Anna’s tuition. We had tried everything from vision therapy to a reading specialist, but she still needed some extra help in her language skills. It was a success! Elisabeth auditioned with about 150 students and was one of 40 chosen to participate in a piano recital at Old Dominion University. Victoria enrolled in our local community college as a special provisions student. (She earns high school and college credit at the same time.) This was her first educational experience outside our home. (We’ve never chosen to do co-ops.) It was a great year, but a transition for us all.
One of the highlights was seeing some of you at the events this spring. It was great to see some of you who we had met last year and others who introduced themselves as online customers. We appreciate the support and encouraging words you have given us. It means so much.
We look forward to an exciting year ahead—new products, more events, and even a new web design coming soon! And last but not least, more blogs…
Last week some dear friends came to visit our family. The daddy’s had worked together 10 years ago and we had lost track of each other through moves over the years. After reconnecting with them recently, we planned a 4-day reunion at our home. The ages of the kids was nearly identical, but I wasn’t sure how their four children and our four children would get along after all these years.
It didn’t take long to find out. I felt like we had picked up where we left off. The parents were chatting; the children were chatting. There were so many cross-conversations, as there often are with girls at our house! Sometimes I just stopped to listen and laugh.
There were a total of five teenagers–17, 16, 16, 13, 13–but they didn’t go off to do their own thing. We all stayed together and played games, went sightseeing, cleaned up, and just hung out. It was such a blessing to be around these teens and to be together as a families–all without the aid of electronics!
After several days, my husband and I talked about how easy it was to reconnect with this lovely family. They had expressed that because of their standards, they sometimes feel alone in the community where they live. Sometimes we feel alone, too, because we feel we’re swimming upstream against a very strong current of our culture. You may feel the same way. Be encouraged that there is a remnant of parents who are swimming upstream from our culture and working intentionally and diligently to raise children who will love, serve, and glorify God forever. You’re not alone!
We’re back! We had to close the store (and the blog) for about a week while we made some upgrades. (Look under Blogroll at your right. Click on Daughters 4 God and it will take you to the store.) We also had to close the blog and start all over again, thus the previous posts are not listed. I will post them with their original post date. Thank you for your patience!
Last weekend, our family was privileged to participate in a homeschool convention sponsored by the Home Educator’s Association of Virginia. We were one vendor of hundreds serving the estimated 11,000 attendees. (Anna and Abigail, ages 10 and 9, loved to go to the second floor to watch the people pour in as soon as they opened the doors in the morning.)Since we were a new vendor, I was unsure of what to expect. We were so excited by the outpouring of interest and support of those who stopped by the booth. We laughed together; we cried together. Some of you have emailed or written how we encouraged you. The feeling was quite mutual. It’s comforting to know that our family is one of so many who are intentionally raising their children to love, honor and serve our Lord Jesus Christ.
When we got home, we talked about our new friends–the Morales family, and Miss Tanya, and the Wybel family, and others– as if we’d know them for years. I look forward to making lots of new friends. Please feel free to post a comment. We’d love to hear from you!
This past Sunday night was a special time for our family. Our oldest daughter, Victoria, was chosen by audition to perform in an Honors Piano Recital at a local university. When Victoria began lessons nearly eight years ago, she never imagined such a night. Her goal was to play at church for Sunday worship services. Three years ago, after four years of lessons and hours of daily practice, she met that goal and became a member of the worship team where she continues to play most every Sunday. But God had other plans and so she continued her piano studies. As I sat there looking at the students, I thought of all the hard work and collective years of preparation for this moment. Some goals in life are only achieved over a long period of preparation. Those goals are not for the faint-hearted who give up when things get tough. These students had persevered through the difficult times and emerged triumphant. What a joy to celebrate their victory! Maybe God has called you to something that requires years of preparation and planning. It probably requires diligence and time with few or little visible results. (Homeschooling and raising children are two such calls that come to mind…) There will be difficult days. Don’t give up. Persevere. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Be obedient to His call for your life. You will emerge triumphant!
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14
When you’re growing about, there are so many opportunities to make new friends and meet new people. Every year, you are in a new class and make new friends. When you move to the middle school or high school, there are more kids and you meeting new people. And of course in college, you meet people that live on the other side of the country or the other side of the world. These days, I don’t have as many opportunities to meet new people, but last week was an exception.
Our family was at the state curriculum fair in Maryland representing Daughters 4 God. Our booth was adjacent to a precious family. The father is a deaf pastor to a deaf congregation. Our two youngest girls enjoyed playing with two of their 10 children. In the course of our conversations, we found out that our families had much in common—we both homeschool, enjoy watching “I Love Lucy,” and both daddies make breakfast on Saturday mornings and homemade pizza during one night of the weekend.
While we were at the curriculum fair, I met so many wonderful women and their daughters. It was great to talk with Bummi and Susan and Tiffany and so many others. I was encouraged to meet other women who are choosing to be intentional in parenting their precious daughters.
Days later, I was at my dear friend Kim’s house with ten ladies from her church: Gladys, Shannon, Christine, Marlane, Diane, Sharon, Darlene, Lisa and Michelle. We talked about the importance of being in relationship with our daughters, how to tell them about their changing bodies, and how each of our girls is a unique gift. We laughed together; we cried together; we prayed together. The time flew by.
I am grateful for the gift of relationship with you, my new friends and acquaintances. I am blessed by who you are and by your stories. May God give you wisdom, grace, patience and love as you raise godly daughters (and sons!) who impact generations!
Two weeks ago, my four lovely daughters and I went to a mother/daughter tea at our local church. Before we ate there was a panel who answered questions about relationships between mother and daughters of all ages. One of the questions was, “What was the most significant moment in your relationship?” What I heard surprised me! I was expecting to hear about fun events, mother/daughter dates, or family vacations. Instead, the ladies who spoke, including my own teen daughter, repeated the same answer: spending time together in the every day moments of life. A simple idea. Sometimes I get so caught up trying to make life memorable for my children that I miss the opportunities that each day brings. I’m trying to keep my eyes open for those special moments in our ordinary days.
Every Christian parent wants to pass on their faith to their children.
I am no different.
Like any goal, it doesn’t happen by accident; it requires a plan of action. In our home, we have used different strategies for different ages.PRESCHOOL
It’s never too early to introduce your daughter to the power of prayer. Preschoolers are capable of praying more than “God is great; God is good.” Once when my youngest was only two, we visited a 99-year-old saint who attended my church when I was a young girl. During our visit, we had a time of prayer. Each of us placed our hand on this precious prayer warrior and offered a prayer of blessing. The last to pray was the 2-year-old who babbled something incomprehendable. The woman was moved to tears that such a young child would pray for her. Here are some ideas for your preschooler:
1.Explain to your preschooler that prayer is talking to Jesus is as easy as talking to their friends.
2.Remind them that God hears every prayer they pray.
3.Give them opportunity to pray from their heart. If they have trouble thinking of anything, start off with “Thank you, God, for” and let them fill in the blank.
4.Make a prayer book. Place pictures of your family, friends, pastors, missionaries, etc. in an inexpensive photo album. As you flip through the book, your daughter can pray with you or repeat after you: “God bless____________.” Unfortunately, I didn’t think of this while my girls were pre-schoolers.
ELEMENTARY
When our girls were old enough to read on their own, I made them a prayer card that doubled as a bookmark in their Bible. This simple tool helped our daughters develop their own prayer life. You can make this card on a computer, but these directions are for doing it the old-fashioned way, by hand. Be sure to write clearly and print unless your daughter can read cursive. Here’s how to make a prayer card for your daughter:
1.Choose a 3×5 card, with or without lines. Look for one in your daughter’s favorite color or use a white card and make it colorful with colored gel pens or stickers.
2.Begin on a side with no lines. Hold the card in a vertical position with the longest side going from top to bottom. Begin by listing names of your family, one name per line: Ex. Dad, Mom, brothers, sisters, grandparents, other close family members.
3.Next, (on the same side) list pastors, missionaries, teachers, or others in authority.
4.Lastly, include things on the heart of your child like a friend who is ill. My oldest daughter included the country of China because she felt called to missions at a very young age.
5.The opposite side is for your daughter. Choose one or two character traits that your daughter needs to work on. (Honesty, Laziness, List the trait and a Bible verse about that trait. For example, if you need to work on honesty, then you may want to copy Psalm 34:13. If you’re struggling with a lazy child, you could copy Proverbs 10:4. Each day your daughter can read the verse and pray that God would change her heart. If your daughter reads the scripture each day for several weeks, she’ll memorize it without any trouble.
Of course, the card will not be accurate forever and will have to be updated every 1-2 months. Involve your daughter as you make changes. Pray together about which trait(s) your daughter needs to develop and encourage her as you see growth in her character.
UPPER ELEMENTARY/MIDDLE SCHOOL
Encourage your daughter to begin a prayer journal. Many Christian and non-Christian bookstores carry bound books with lined or unlined blank pages or create your own with a 3-ring binder and dividers. Here are some ways you can help your daughter prepare her journal:
1.Use a prayer plan like ACTS:
Adoration – telling God how great He is
Confession – repenting for what you’ve done wrong
Thanksgiving – thanking God for His blessings
Supplication – bringing your requests to God
Prayer isn’t a laundry list of requests; it’s about building a relationship.
2.Make a list of daily prayer requests, similar to the list above or help your daughter divide the requests: Monday for Missionaries, Tuesday for Wednesdays for Pastors, Thursday for Friends, Friday for Friends, Saturday for School.
3.Make a chart for prayer requests, include a space for the date you begin to pray for the request, the date it was answered, and the answer. Seeing so many answers to prayer will grow your daughter’s faith.
4.Record the scripture you read each day. Write one sentence summarizing the scripture in your own words and one sentence about how it applies to your life.
5.Write your prayers to God. Encourage your daughter to write her feelings, but written words should be respectful and represent only what she would speak to others.
6.Listen to God. In my own journal, I record my thoughts and prayers in cursive writing and what God says in all caps. Prayer is a conversation, not a monologue.
These are just a few ideas of how we taught our daughters about prayer. Prayer is such a key part of a relationship with God. The earlier we teach our children about prayer, the earlier they establish a vital spiritual discipline. Ask God to show you how to best reach the heart of your daughter and help her develop a vibrant and powerful prayer life.
Joy’s Inside Tips on Using Passport2Purity
You think it’s time to “have the talk”, but you aren’t sure and you don’t know what to say. That’s how I felt when my first daughter was approaching puberty. I had already written Lady Day, but I began to search for something to help me know what to say and when to say it. I hadn’t yet written The Gift of Purity, so I used Passport2Purity.
This is an excellent tool with detailed instructions and teaching to help you plan an overnight for you and your daughter. It includes:
- A planning guide with two sections
- The first section is a planner for you with a detailed schedule of the weekend.The second section is identical to your daughter’s. It includes fill in the blank outlines of each discussion on CD.
- A student’s guide
- 5 audio CD’s of teachings by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Timing
How do you know when it’s time to have “the talk?” Each child and each family is different. Some children ask lots of direct questions; some ask none at all. Some families are comfortable with lots of information; some give very little information. Passport2Purity was designed for 10-13 year old girls (and boys). We planned our time according to our daughter’s physical and emotional development and questions she was asking. We wanted to make sure that she would understand the information presented and treasure the purity ring and what it represented.
Planning
I am a big fan of making detailed plans in advance, however I am flexible enough to throw the plans out the window if something changes, if something better comes up, or if God leads me otherwise. A plan is a tool to help you make decisions in advance, allowing you to have a more enjoyable time.
Making a budget
You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you want to communicate how special this time is. Depending on location, you should be able to find a nice hotel with a free breakfast for around $75.00 per night, less on the off season. If your budget won’t allow that much, maybe you know someone who would let you stay in their cabin in the mountains or their house at the beach.
As far as meals, you’ll be eating dinner the first day, and three meals on the second day. Since we ate a big breakfast, we saved some money by eating snacks for lunch. We splurged on a nice dinner.
Finally, you’ll have expenses for gas, expense for a ring or other token and entertainment expenses. Don’t worry about how much money you have, or don’t have! It’s not about how much money you spend; it’s about the time you invest in building a relationship with your daughter.
Choosing a destination
When choosing a destination, you need to take several things into account: your daughter’s interests, the time of year, your geographic location, and your budget. What would your daughter like to do during your free time? Will it be swimming weather or skiing weather? How far are you willing to drive? How much are you willing to spend? Since dad was joining us for a special dinner, we didn’t want to drive too far from home. In the end, we chose a destination about one hour away.
Choosing a hotel
Most girls like nice things and atmosphere is very important. On both occasions, we chose a nice hotel during the off-season which gave us lovely accommodations for about half of the price. Many hotels include a free breakfast or have a hotel restaurant. Having breakfast at the hotel is not necessary, but is very convenient.
Also, we spent two nights. We didn’t want to pack up and check out in the morning and we wanted to be dressed nicely for dinner and needed a room to get ready.
Sending an invitation
Make an invitation and send it to your daughter through the mail. What girl doesn’t like to get mail? I name the time “Purity Weekend” and I listed the departuretime, and an RSVP name and phone number, but the destination was a secret.
Choosing puzzles
Each girl has her own interests. Choose a puzzle that would interest her. For my oldest daughter I chose Thomas Kinkade paintings, for my second daughter, I chose horse puzzles. On both occasions, we worked the puzzle during our free time. After the weekend, the puzzle was her gift to remember our time together.
Preparing the object lessons
As I prepared the object lessons, I bought solid colored gift bags from a discount retailer, each bag a different color, and marked them by number for each of the object lessons. All supplies for that object lesson were placed in the bag so that I was prepared when we stopped the tape. I transported all of the bags in a large department store shopping bag so my daughter didn’t see them. I kept the bags to be used with the next daughter.
Listening to the teachings
The first CD teaching you listen to is while you’re traveling. I made sure that she had control of the buttons. I gave them permission to stop the teaching any time they had a question or didn’t understand the concept. When we listened in the hotel room, she was on one bed with the portable CD player, and I was on the other bed. Sometimes I stopped the teaching just to clarify that she understood. Usually when I stopped the CD to ask a question, she had more to ask me.
Planning afternoon activities
I tailored the afternoon activities to my daughter’s interests and desires, and my budget! I wanted to find a “grown up” activity that reaffirmed her femininity. The oldest daughter wanted to get her ears pierced. We spent the day perusing bookstores and finally ended up at Claire’s to get her ears pierced. For the second daughter, I scheduled an appointment to get her hair cut at a nice salon – her first visit to a salon. Later, she also got her ears pierced.
There are many things you could do together: seeing a symphony, a ballet, touring a historic site, going to a museum, going horseback riding, painting a piece of pottery, walking on the beach, swimming, or hiking.
Dinner
I felt the weekend was too special and too important not to include Dad in some way. We planned that he would join us for dinner on the second evening. I searched in advance to find a nice restaurant nearby and my daughter and I dressed up in our very best dresses. I wanted her to know that this was a special time. When we entered the hotel lobby on our way to the restaurant, Dad was waiting in his best suit. Both girls were so emotionally moved that they cried. We took lots of pictures and headed to dinner.
My husband treated our daughter with honor, opened the car door for her, pulled back her chair at dinner and showed by example how a future husband should treat her. During dinner our daughter told her dad about what she had learned and what we had done during the weekend without the interruption of siblings. Including dad at this point was crucial because it established that all of these topics were open for discussion with Mom or Dad. Were the girls embarrassed? Not at all. At this age, most are still very open and uninhibited about discussing such issues.
After dinner, we returned back to the hotel and dad presented his princess with a lovely purity ring, symbolizing her commitment to purity. We found a ring at a local jeweler which was within our budget and looked grown up enough for a young adult to wear.
Concluding the weekend
After Dad left, my daughter and I spent a second night at the hotel and had a final breakfast together. We drove home with a closeness we had never before experienced – it was a heart-to-heart experience. I can’t say that everything was perfect after that, but I can say that it was a very important foundational weekend in our relationship and that it opened the door to communication. I am still reaping the benefits today.
