I like to know what’s going on in our world, but my information doesn’t come from our local paper.  There were too many photographs depicting blatant sin posted on the front page.  I realize that this is news, but I don’t appreciate the images being recorded in the minds of my family.

Recently, I was online checking news and ran across an article about the death of Eunice Shriver.  I knew her name well as the founder of the Special Olympics and an advocate for those with disabilities.  (I worked with hearing-impaired children before my daughters were born and among my colleagues she was an example of how to affect change.)  The article told about how Eunice Shriver had founded the Special Olympics and opened the eyes of the public to the needs of the mentally disabled by openly disclosing the needs of her own mentally retarded sister.  She received many honors including the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the French Legion of Honor, the Lasker Award for public service, and the Theodore Roosevelt Award of the National Collegiate Athletic Association.  Some have said that she should’ve been president.

Deep into the third page near to the end of the article, it mentioned that she was the mother of four sons and a daughters, saying that she “thoroughly believed ‘in motherhood as the nourishment of life,’ once writing that ‘it is the most wonderful, satisfying thing we can do.’”  It is a rare thing in our culture for an accomplished woman, by the world’s standards, to recognize the value of motherhood.

Motherhood has always held a place of high esteem in my world.  The example of my own mother gave me a strong desire to follow in her footsteps.  It was only when I found myself a high school graduate without a sweetheart that I began searching for an alternative career path.  I chose to study music education, hoping to use it with the hearing-impaired community.

When I was first married, I was hired to teach music at the only elementary school in the city that had hearing-impaired children.  I began to write my own curriculum and work with others across the US who were writing the first nationally-recognized music curriculum for hearing-impaired.  My job made for great conversation at my husband’s business functions.  Then I had Victoria and quit my job.  When someone asked what I did, they backed away so fast you would’ve thought I said, “I’m a carrier of the plague.”  It was the first of many times that someone would communicate that motherhood was not valuable and that because I was a mother, I was not valuable.  A discontent set in.

I have to admit that there have been moments when I didn’t feel satisfied in my “mommy world.”  I wondered how it would feel to do something important—not instead of, but in addition to being a mom.  I now recognize that those thoughts come from one who has taken her eyes off of her Savior and His plan, one who is trying to earn her value.  God has been faithful to teach me that my value is in who He says I am, not in what I do, what I look like, how my house looks, how my children behave, or how much they know.  When I keep my eyes and heart focused on the Lover of My Soul, I recognize that my value is in being His—His creation, His friend, His servant, and His choice to be the wife of my husband and the mother of our precious children.  That is a satisfying place to be.

You can read the full article reporting the death of Eunice Shriver here.  (NOTE:  I do not support nor recommend this publication as a source of information.  I am merely providing the source of my quoted material.)

Many moms come by our booth at homeschool conventions and tell me that they’ve purchased Polished Cornerstones.  My follow up question is always, “Do you use it?”  Nearly all of them say they haven’t.  They don’t know where to start.  It can seem overwhelming with nearly 600 pages of information on character training.  Where do you start?  How do you make it work?  This product is too useful to let it sit on the shelf collecting dust.

Polished Cornerstones first captured by attention when I attended a local curriculum fair in preparation for our first year of homeschooling.  It looked inspiring and overwhelming (and beyond my price range!) but I found myself drawn to it.  I put it on a wish list—for five years!  There never seemed to be enough money left over after we purchased curriculum, so after five years I finally budgeted for the expense.  It has been a great investment and has served our family well.  While there are some activities for younger elementary, the majority of activities are suitable for ages 8 and up, with some definitely for high school and beyond.
I’ve created a template for creating lesson plans that you can download here: Polished Cornerstones Lesson Plan Template.  You will need one template for each week of study.

Planning
First, I plan which months we’re going to use the book.  Some school years we’ve used it every month and other years we haven’t used it at all.  I don’t feel guilty that we’re not completing every activity or even one activity for every character trait.  Doing something is better than doing nothing.

Second, I pray and ask God to show me the weak areas in my daughters’ lives.  I talk with my husband too, because he sees things I don’t.  I also look for areas that the girls might enjoy, like hospitality.  I make a list and then narrow it down to assign one character trait for each month of our study.  If one daughter needs it, we all study it.  It’s good for all of us to grow in our character.  I try to vary the topics between character and life skills.  For example, last year we studied a woman who is organized, humble, courageous, and manages her money.  Copy your choices on the lesson plan templates.

Next, I use the list of scriptures at the beginning of the chapter to choose one verse or passage of scripture to memorize for each week of our study.  I base my choices on the ages of the girls, making sure that the concept and wording can be understood.  Copy your choices on the lesson plan templates.  I usually create a document that has all the scriptures typed out in the order we’ll use them.  This page goes in the notebook that I talk about below.  This makes it much easier to read together.

Then, I review all of the possible activities listed in the chapter to see which ones fit our family.  Some require other resources you may need to purchase, some are definitely geared to older daughters, and others require Dad’s involvement.  Some are spread out over a long period of time and others can be done in a matter of minutes.  Some are scripture intensive and require lots of writing or thinking; others are more practical and are more “doing.”  I choose three activities per week, based on the age of the girls, and varying the activities by alternating between writing and doing.  Copy the number and letter of the activities, as well as the page number, on your lesson plan template.

Finally, I make a list of any resources or supplies we need for each unit.  I also make a list any pages that I need to copy.  Then, I order all the supplies and make all the copies for the entire year.  Yep, I said the entire year.  If I only prepare for the first unit I sometimes forget to order a book or make a copy which means we can’t do the lesson and we get behind.  I put all the copied pages in the girls’ notebooks (and the list of scriptures to memorize) so that the pages are ready when we need them.  Check off the column on the lesson plan when you’ve made the copies.

Creating a Notebook
I bought each of the girls a 1-inch, 3-ring binder (with pockets) and divider tabs.  I labeled the tabs with the character trait and then inserted the copies for each unit behind each tab.  Over the years, they’ve kept the same notebook, adding more tabs for each new unit.  We don’t always keep our units in order chronologically, but I ask the girls to date their work for future reference.  You could even add 3-ring pocket folders to hold mementos, if needed.

There are reproducible pages suitable for each girl to keep record of her accomplishments.  You could also keep records by copying your lesson plans after you’ve finished your study and placing those in each daughter’s notebook.

Class Time
We usually spend about an hour a day, four days a week.  (Until this year, we had an hour delay on Thursday morning because of late nights at church on Wednesday!)  I only choose three activities because I don’t like being in a rush and that allows me space if something takes me longer than I thought.  (The lesson plan template has space for four activities for those who can fit in more.) Each time we meet together, the girls bring their notebook, their Bible and a pencil.   Remember to record the date you complete the activity on the lesson plan template.  One year, we met with another family of girls once a week and worked together on some sewing activities in the “Godly Woman” unit.  The girls enjoyed that very much.

Worth the Work
This may seem like a lot of work.  Really, it’s not too bad and well worth the investment.  God has always been faithful to lead me to just the right character traits and just the right activities.  We use our month of study to focus on instruction, but also on changing behavior.  Then when situations arise, I refer back to the scriptures and principles we learned.  Overall, I have seen a lot of growth in the areas we’ve studied.  Our study of hospitality has yielded much fruit, as we often have guests who remark about how welcome they feel in our home.

I’m not saying Polished Cornerstones is the only character curriculum you should use, or even that it’s the best one out there.  I will say that it is has worked well for our family and that we have seen much fruit.  It is a flexible tool which parents can use to teach their daughter godly character.

Available from www.Daughters4God.com or from Doorposts for $48.00

Doorposts has a similar book, Plants Grown Up, to train sons in Godly character.

Yes, I’m already shopping for Christmas.  My mother’s goal was to finish all her Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving.  It didn’t occur to me to do anything differently, so I adopted her plan nearly 25 years ago.  I’ve found there are several good reasons to start shopping early, but here are just a few:  I can enjoy the month of December, I can shop without pressure which decreases impulse buying, I can spread the cost over several months instead of making a huge dent in our December budget, I have time to make presents which are often less expensive.

Daughters 4 God is pleased to offer two products especially for early Christmas shoppers.

Quantities are limited, so order early!

The Three Gifts of Christmas (by:  Jennie Bishop)

From the author of The Princess and the Kiss comes this book about a princess who has everything—including a selfish, ungrateful heart.  Desiring to cultivate a heart of thankfulness, her parents choose to give the princess only three presents.  The change in her heart is what every parent hopes for their own child.  Also included is an audio CD recording of the book.  Recommended for ages 4 to 10.  Hardback, 32 pages.  Retail: $15.99  Our Price: $13.99

The 3 Wise Women:  A Christmas Reflection (by:  Christin Ditchfield)

Several years ago, a friend gave me this book as a Christmas gift.  It looks at the Christmas story from a different point of view.  (This is NOT a pro-feminist book, trying to emphasize the role of women more than the role of men in Christmas.)  It powerfully highlights the lives of Mary, Elisabeth and Anna, emphasizing their strengths and how God uses women in different stages of life.  I particularly like the way the author included scripture quotations (written scripture, not just references) and the historical context of these women’s lives.  I believe that women of all ages will be encouraged by the lives of these Godly women.  Recommended for ages 12 and older.  Hardback, pages.  Retail Price:  $11.99 Our Price:  $10.99

This recipe comes from a dear family friend, Louise Short, and has become a family tradition for our Thanksgiving celebration.
Preparation Time:  30 mins.

Yield:  1 pie

Ingredients:

¼ c. honey or brown sugar
¾ c. canned or cooked smashed pumpkin
1 qt. vanilla ice cream
2 graham cracker crusts
½ t. cinnamon
¼ t. ginger
Dash of cloves
Dash of nutmeg
¼ t. salt

Preparation:

1. In saucepan, combine honey or brown sugar with pumpkin.
2. Stir in cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg and salt.
3. Stirring constantly, bring to a boil.
4. Cool.
5. Beat pumpkin mixture into softened ice cream.
6. Pour into pie crust.
7. Cover and store in freezer.

It was a rude awakening.  It was Christmas morning and there were lots of presents under the tree.  I specifically remember someone had given us a lovely dollhouse that we saved to give the girls for Christmas.  I wrapped many small things individually so that they would have more things to open.  That’s fun, right?  Well after each present, the girls would say, “What’s next?” without even acknowledging the present they had just opened.  Harold and I were dumbfounded.  Who were these ungrateful little things that resembled our precious daughters and how did they get this way?  Their attitudes concerned us so much that we began to make some changes at home, making a concerted effort to grow daughters who would become grateful and thankful for even the little things in life.  We weren’t looking for an instant fix, we needed a lifestyle change and a lot of prayer!  Here are a few of the changes we made in our family.

Three Gifts
I had heard of families who gave their children three gifts, but I didn’t want to be one of them.  I like giving my children presents.  How could I ever limit myself to three!  Would the girls be angry?  Would we ruin them?  Then we started calculating how many gifts our girls actually received:  several from Harold’s parents, several from my parents, and several from aunts and uncles.  They weren’t lacking presents to open.  Harold and I decided that Harold and I would give each girl only three gifts the next Christmas.  We talked to the girls and prepared them in advance so they wouldn’t be disappointed.  Our Christmas the following year was a precious time of excitement.  No one asked what was next, because they could count to three!  And so, the “Three Gift Policy” was adopted.

Over the years our “Three Gift Policy” has changed slightly.  It may change again, but in 2009, this is how it looks.  On the day we decorate the Christmas tree, the girls receive an ornament representing the past year.  (More about that tradition in December’s newsletter!)  Then on Christmas Day, the girls have three presents to open from us as well as a small present in their stocking.  (Sometimes they have more than three gifts from us, but they each have four to open, if you include the stocking.  Depending on the budget, I may combine two similar gifts such as a portable CD player and a CD or a sewing basket filled with a sewing kit.)

The girls also buy gifts for each other.  I used to take them to Dollar Tree, but now they save up their own money and ask me to take them to specific shops, including the thrift store.  I love seeing what they choose for each other, taking time to consider their budget and their sisters’ desires.

Several of the girls have expressed to us that they would like to use the “Three Gift Policy” with their own children, providing their husband is in agreement.  I am grateful God showed us another way.  Our Christmas is filled with so much joy.  And I thought it might ruin them.

Start a Modeling Career
When I first noticed my ungrateful girls, God challenged me to examine my own heart.  Was I content with what God had given me?  What attitude was I portraying to my girls?  What was the message I was sending with my words?  “If only we could afford…”, “I wish we could…”, “I wish we had…”  I was the one who was setting the tone of my home.  As I began to speak from a grateful heart about my thankfulness for beautiful sunsets, parking spaces close to the door, and answered prayers, I discovered that the words of my daughters began to echo my own grateful heart.

I was also convicted about another area of my speech.  It’s easy to become so familiar with each other that you neglect the simple kindnesses of life.  We try very hard to always use please and thank you with each other, even when we’re at home.  Certainly the words are not always attached to the true heart of thankfulness, but it does encourage an awareness of being grateful and thankful for what someone else has done for you.

Put off Hindrances
A few months after the Christmas fiasco, we made some changes to our daily life.  We discontinued watching broadcast television.  Without the constant barrage of commercials I found that the girls were more content with what they had and weren’t constantly asking for something.  When I asked them to make a Christmas list the following year, they had a difficult thing thinking of what they wanted!  We also limited our shopping trips, especially to the mall.  When one of our daughters was about seven, she would walk through the store picking up things and saying, “Mom, we really need this!”  I would remind her why we didn’t really need that and then she’d find something else.  I’m happy to say that today, she has a grateful heart and is very careful how she spends her money.

Lastly, we limited catalogs which reminded the girls of what they didn’t have.  I like to shop online (avoiding the stores) so I receive many catalogs, especially around Christmas time.  The girls would take the catalogs and begin to highlight what they wanted, or “needed” as they would sometimes say.  Limiting the catalogs made the girls grateful for whatever our budget could afford.

“No Choice Days”
Somewhere around the age of four, our oldest daughter, Victoria, decided that she was ready to make decisions.  She never said it in those words, but all of a sudden everything we chose wasn’t what she wanted.  She wanted to wear that dress; she wanted to watch that video; she didn’t want to eat that for breakfast.  We were first-time parents and bought into it for a little while, giving her two acceptable choices and allowing her to make the decision.  She grew increasingly ungrateful.  Then we began to institute “no choice” days—mom or dad chose everything including what to eat, what to wear, what to do.

Over the years, every one of the girls would discover “no choice” days.  Sometimes we had “no choice” weeks, sometimes just one day in a month. Generally, we had “no choice” days until I could see a thankful and grateful heart for what I chose.  I found that as the girls became content with our choices,   they became grateful for the simple pleasures in life.

Cheerful Givers
I really like to give gifts to people—not just any gift, but the perfect gift that you know fits them perfectly.  Even when our income was not great, we made sure to give generous gifts to others.  We weren’t looking to draw attention to ourselves or gain some approval, we were merely making a point to our children that these people are valuable to God and they’re valuable to us.  We looked for opportunities to give.  We gave away clothes the girls grew out of.  We’d ask them, “Who does this look like?” and they would name a friend.  (It’s fun to see who’s wearing their dresses on Sunday morning!) As the girls grew, they would often find something at a store and say, “Can we buy this for _______?”  If it was within reason in the budget, we purchased it or made it.  Sometimes the gifts weren’t for an occasion, they were just because.  Now, the girls use their own money to buy special things for friends for birthdays, for Christmas, or just because they see something their friend would really like.

One Thankful Bite
Years ago I was having a conversation with my friend Yvette about our children, mealtime, and how to handle food they didn’t like.  She told me about her mother’s plan, the same plan she used with her own children.  Each child is required to eat one bite of each dish that is served, even the dishes that the child “doesn’t prefer.”  This was called their “one thankful bite.”  This would stretch their taste buds a bit and encourage them to be thankful for the food they had without a lengthy diatribe on the conditions of children in Africa.  Yvette’s plan has served our family well.  Some still don’t like mashed potatoes, but others have learned to like things they snarled their nose at five years ago.

An Old-Fashioned Tradition
I started early helping my children write thank you notes for gifts they had received.  When they were very young, they wrote some scribble, then advanced to drawing pictures and eventually to copying the words I had written from their dictation.  My friend Kim has really mastered this.  I’ve known her for nearly ten years and she has taught her three daughters well.  Over the years, I don’t think a time has gone by when we haven’t received a thank you note for a gift we’ve given to one of the girls.  Each of her daughters has their own stationary, return address labels, stamps, and a 3×5 card box with addresses of friends and family.  My girls are much better at thank you’s than I am.  I am great at writing the thank you notes, but somehow there’s a disconnect and they don’t get in the mail!  I’m still working on that…

A Marathon, Not a Sprint
Keep in mind that cultivating a grateful and thankful heart doesn’t just happen.  It takes intentional focus and consistency on your part.  Sometimes it seems like it gets worse before it gets better!  Don’t give up.  A change in perspective doesn’t happen overnight.  As I like to say, raising godly children isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon.  It takes determination and focus on the goal which can be miles away!

Today, our daughters are certainly not perfect, but I can say that they are thankful and grateful for even the smallest things.  They don’t give me wish lists for Christmas or birthdays and they are genuinely excited for whatever we choose.  They don’t have the latest and greatest clothes or electronics, but they’re content.  They say please and thank you to each other, and most of the time I don’t even have to remind them!

If you feel that your family is in need of a grateful heart transformation, talk with your husband and make a plan to add one or two things to cultivate thankful hearts.  There are certainly more ideas than what I’ve listed here.  God is faithful and He will give you the perfect ideas for your family.  Happy Thanksgiving!

If you have ideas that you’d like to share with the readers of the newsletter, please send them to joy@Daughters4God.com and write “Ideas” in the subject line.

We’ve just returned from a great weekend at MACHE—Maryland Association of Christian Home Educators.  It is a curriculum fair of 4 buildings worth of vendors for all things homeschooling—curriculum for every subject, dissection specimens, microscopes,  colleges, summer camps, support organizations, and even small appliances for cooking.  This was our third year there and it is like “old home week.”  We see other vendors from past years and meet new vendors, as well.  We talk with friends from previous years, though I’m not great at remembering all their names from year to year, catching up with where our lives are a year later.  Here are a couple of pictures from the weekend: Our family inside the D4G booth, A little girl and her Mom with matching D4G bracelets and mother/daughter charms, Abigail with a new friend who is wearing the same shirt, and Abigail having fun with Daddy on the handcart.

I talked with several ladies who had experienced great loss over the last year—the death of a loved one, two second-trimester miscarriages, a child ill with cancer.  It reminded me how fleeting life is and how miniscule the frustrations in my own life really are.  I also thought of the constancy and sufficiency of our God.  In the midst of these very challenging experiences, these ladies were smiling and telling of God’s faithfulness in the midst of the storm.  I am so grateful I serve a God who is bigger than any circumstance in life, a God who is more than enough.

–Joy

NEW product from Daughters 4 God!

You think it’s time to “have the talk”, but you aren’t sure and you don’t know what to say. That’s how I felt when my first daughter was approaching puberty. I had already written Lady Day, but I began to search for something to help me know what to say and when to say it.  I found Passport 2Purity and used that with both of our first two daughters.  But when I began to plan for the third daughter, God gave me the book The Gift of Purity to share with her.

Timing

How do you know when it’s time to have “the talk?” Each child and each family is different. Some children ask lots of direct questions; some ask none at all. Some families are comfortable with lots of information; some give very little information.  The Gift of Purity was written for 11-13 year-old girls.  I feel that if my daughter can conceive a child, she should know how that happens.  We planned our time according to our daughter’s physical and emotional development.  We wanted to make sure that she would understand the information presented and treasure the purity ring and what it represented.

Planning

I am a big fan of making detailed plans in advance, however I am flexible enough to throw the plans out the window if something changes, if something better comes up, or if God leads me otherwise. A plan is a tool to help you make decisions in advance, allowing you to have a more enjoyable time.  Harold and I talked together and chose a few weekends within a 6-week period that would suit our family schedule.  Ultimately, we made our final choice based on the lowest hotel rate.  The book includes a detailed check list of how to prepare for the event.

Making a Budget

You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you want to communicate how special this time is. Depending on location, you should be able to find a nice hotel with a free breakfast for around $75.00 per night, less on the off season.  I found a five star hotel on off season for about $65.00 a night, off season and without breakfast.  If your budget won’t allow that much, maybe you know someone who would let you stay in their cabin in the mountains or their house at the beach.  I even know of one nursing mom who chose to have their “weekend” in one marathon day because she couldn’t leave the baby overnight.  The book includes sample schedules for these scenarios. 

As far as meals, you’ll be eating dinner the first day and three meals on the second day. Since we ate a big breakfast on our second day, we saved some money by eating snacks for lunch. We splurged on a nice dinner.  With our third daughter, our hotel didn’t include breakfast so we went to a grocery store and bought bananas, milk and donuts-much cheaper than a breakfast at a restaurant.

Finally, you’ll have expenses for gas, expense for a ring or other token, and entertainment expenses for your free time.  Our entertainment expenses varied-one got their ears pierced, one got her first haircut at a salon, and another bought some needed clothing.  One mom I know took her daughter horseback riding.  Don’t feel guilty if your budget is tight.  The weekend is not about spending money; it’s about the time you invest in building a stronger relationship with your daughter.

Choosing a Destination

When choosing a destination, you need to take several things into account: your daughter’s interests, the time of year, your geographic location, and your budget.  What would your daughter like to do during your free time? Will it be swimming weather or skiing weather?  How far are you willing to drive? How much are you willing to spend?  Since Dad was joining us for a special dinner, we didn’t want to drive too far from home.  In the end, the destination for the first two daughters was about one hour away.  The third daughter requested a local hotel more than a year in advance of her special weekend and was surprised and thrilled when we pulled into the parking lot.

Choosing a Hotel

Most girls like nice things and atmosphere is very important. For all three girls, we chose a nice hotel during the off-season which gave us lovely accommodations for about half of the price. Many hotels include a free breakfast or have a hotel restaurant. Having breakfast at the hotel is not necessary, but is very convenient.  I like using hotels.com because they have a calendar option for each hotel that shows when you can get the lowest rates.

Also, we spent two nights. We didn’t want to pack up and check out in the morning and we wanted to be dressed nicely for dinner and needed a room to get ready.  The second night certainly isn’t necessary.

Sending an invitation

Make an invitation and send it to your daughter through the mail. What girl doesn’t like to get mail? I named the time “Purity Weekend” and I listed the date, departure time, and an RSVP name and phone number, but the destination was a secret.  You can call it anything you want:  Girls’ Weekend Getaway, A Celebration, A Special Time Together.  I’m sure God will show you just what to call it.

Shopping for a Purity Ring

For the first two, we found a ring at a local jeweler which was within our budget and looked grown up enough for a young adult to wear.  (Our local jeweler has a 50% off sale each year in January, so we planned ahead!)  For the third daughter, we found a great deal during a holiday sale at a national jewelry chain and saved the ring until her “Purity Weekend.”

Preparing the “Purity Points”

As I prepared the “Purity Points,” I bought solid colored gift bags from a discount retailer, each bag a different color based on the color of the gift at the top of the pages in the chapter.  All supplies for that “Purity Point” were placed in the bag so that I was prepared when we came to that section.  I transported all of the bags in a large department store shopping bag so my daughter didn’t see them. I kept the bags to be used with the next daughter.  The book includes a list of supplies you will need for each of the “Purity Points.”

Planning Free Time

I tailored the afternoon activities to my daughter’s interests and desires, and my budget! I wanted to find a “grown up” activity that reaffirmed her femininity. The oldest daughter wanted to get her ears pierced. We spent the day perusing bookstores and finally ended up at Claire’s to get her ears pierced. For the second daughter, I scheduled an appointment to get her hair cut at a nice salon – her first visit to a salon. Later, she also got her ears pierced.  The third daughter needed some clothing, so we went to the mall and bought a few new items-a big deal for a family that more often shops at thrift stores. 

There are many things you could do together.  Take some time to think about what interests your daughter.  Some free or inexpensive ideas are touring a historic site, going to a museum, going horseback riding, painting a piece of pottery, walking on the beach, swimming, or hiking.  (I discourage movies or other performances that don’t allow you to communicate.) 

Doing the Event

We left home and after we got on the road, I had our daughter read the introductory letter in the car.  Then I told them where we were going.  We stopped and ate dinner on the way to the hotel.  The Letters from Mom and Dad can be read at the hotel while you’re waiting for food, or you can save them for when you arrive at the hotel.  The letters of blessing open their hearts and set the stage.  After dinner, we drove to the hotel and checked in.  We took a little time to get settled and then we sat on the bed together as I read aloud the Purity letter to her.  (Your daughter could read the letter if she wants to, but it should be read aloud.)  We did the “Purity Point” and I finished reading the letter.  As we got ready for bed, I let her talk as much as she wanted to, about whatever she wanted to. 

In the morning, before we even got out of bed, I read the Sexuality letter to her.  We did the “Purity Point” and I finished reading the letter.  I paused in some sections, asking her if she understood and if she had any questions.  When we finished, we got dressed and had breakfast.  After breakfast, I read the Courtship letter, did the “Purity Point”, finished the letter and then signed the “Commitment to Courtship.”  I mentioned to her that Dad could sign it when we got home.  (Really he signs it when he comes to give her the ring.)   

We hung out together in the afternoon and then came back and dressed for dinner.

Dinner

I felt the weekend was too special and too important not to include Dad in some way. We planned that he would join us for dinner on the second evening. For the first two, I searched in advance to find a nice restaurant nearby and my daughter and I dressed up in our very best dresses. I wanted her to know that this was a special time. When we entered the hotel lobby on our way to the restaurant, Dad was waiting in his best suit. Both girls were so emotionally moved that they cried. We took lots of pictures and headed to dinner.

The third daughter is a little more casual so we didn’t dress up as much.  Dad was afraid she may have overheard conversations about the first two “Purity Weekends” and might be expecting him.  He wanted to be sure to surprise her so he hid in the trunk of the van!  After we arrived at the restaurant and parked in the lot, I opened the hatch and Dad jumped out.  Anna was completely surprised!

My husband treated all our daughters with honor, opened the car door for them, pulled back their chairs at dinner and showed by example how a future husband should treat his wife.  During dinner our daughters told Dad about what she had learned and what we had done during the weekend, without the interruption of siblings. Including Dad at this point was crucial because it established that all of these topics were open for discussion with Mom or Dad. Were the girls embarrassed?  Not at all.  At this age, most are still very open and uninhibited about discussing such issues.

After dinner, we returned back to the hotel and Dad presented his princess with a lovely purity ring, symbolizing her commitment to purity.  He explained what the ring meant and placed it on her finger.  This is also the time for Dad to sign the “Commitment to Courtship.”

No Mom/No Dad

The letters on Purity and Sexuality could easily be used by single parents.  However, the Courtship letter was clearly written with the understanding that both parents were married to each other and a part of raising the daughter.  I realize that there are many other situations, but I couldn’t figure out how to write that section in such a way to include all family situations.  Don’t let that stop you.  You can make adjustments to the text as you read it to your daughter. 

Single dads, you may not be comfortable with an overnight event, but don’t pass up the opportunity to impart to your daughter the value of her purity.

Single moms, there are several options when it comes to presenting the ring.  You could present the ring to her and explain the significance of purity.  If Dad is a believer and actively involved in protecting her, you may invite Dad to come and participate in the dinner and be a part of giving the ring.  Another option is to have a close male relative give the ring-your father, or brother.  Again, this is someone who is actively involved in her life in a father-like role.  Under no circumstances would I have your boyfriend present the ring.  If your relationship doesn’t work out, it could become a bad memory.           

Concluding the Weekend

After Dad left, my daughter and I spent a second night at the hotel and had a final breakfast together. We drove home with a closeness we had never before experienced; it was a heart-to-heart experience. I can’t say that everything was perfect after that, but for each daughter I can say that it was a very important foundational weekend in our relationship and that it opened the door to communication. I am still reaping the benefits today.  Each of the girls asks if I have anything else to tell them because they want to do it all over again!

It is my prayer that The Gift of Purity will be a blessing to you and your family.  Please feel free to email any questions you may have or any comments about your special weekend with your daughter.

As my daughters continue to grow both physically and spiritually I become increasingly aware that someday, in the not so distant future, I will most likely give my daughter’s hand in marriage to a man.  As I am personally involved in ministry to young men I am aware of the great need for parents to raise godly men.  Call it a selfish motive, but I need at least 4 parents to be actively involved in the lives of their sons, raising them in righteousness, holiness, and character – worthy enough to be the husbands of my daughters!  =)

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the request for a “sons version” of Daughters 4 God.   Even though our emphasis remains on serving families with daughters after much prayer, we are adding a limited inventory of books for raising godly sons.  Of course we haven’t used these books with our daughters, however I would use them if I had sons.  We are calling our “sons” section “Christopher’s Corner”.   It is named after a very special Christopher to our family.

Christopher (we called him Chris) was a young man who came to live with our family for a few months last year.  Chris ended up in our home, seeking an understanding of his position as a son of God, a son to his parents, and what “growing up” was all about.  During his time with us, Chris grew up.  God ministered to him and his heart in significant ways.  And during this time, Chris touched our hearts, as well.

I have been blessed with only daughters.  But should I had been given a son I could have asked for nothing more than I found in Christopher.   He is the inspiration for the products we carry for sons.   

We pray that you and your sons will be blessed by these new resources,
Harold

Welcome to our new home!  We’ve been building and redecorating for more than a year, but it’s great to be moved in.  We’re glad you’re here and we hope you enjoy your visit.

What’s new?
More than 12 months ago we began to rework the website.  A friend had done our previous site, but our oldest daughter, Victoria, designed a new site and most everything was ready to go last spring.  However, we ran into some challenges.  We realized the site needed to be created using a different program, so Victoria had to start from scratch and learn how to use a new computer program.  I completely underestimated the amount of work it would be since this was all new to us.  I am so thrilled that we are finally “live” (on the internet) and so very proud of Victoria and her hard work.

Thanks to Victoria, our site looks very different.  We now have an articles link which incorporates articles and my personal blog, which Victoria will help me technically moderate.  (I will post as often as I can, but no promises.)  Our store will soon carry a new banner with the new look, as well.   And that’s not all that’s new…

New Book
Not only do we have a new website, but on April 16 we will release a new book entitled, “The Gift of Purity:  Letters to a Daughter About Guarding Her Heart.”  God gave me this idea while I was planning for Anna’s “Purity Weekend.”  I had used Passport2Purity, with adaptations, with our oldest two daughters and both weekends were quite memorable.  I had often told people that it was my favorite product we had.  As I revisited it, I realized that our family had changed and that I needed to make more adaptations.  Many of the examples were very unfamiliar to our daughters who have been homeschooled since Kindergarten.  I knew I needed to make changes, but I was a little worried that the weekend might not be as effective.

Instead of adapting the product, God led me to create a new one, The Gift of Purity.  Some of the same topics are discussed, but within the context of courtship and marriage.   Anna’s “Purity Weekend” was filled with beautiful moments that she and I will always treasure.  It is my prayer that The Gift of Purity will be a blessing to your family and strengthen your relationship with your daughter.

New Focus
While I was perusing new products to add, I became overwhelmed with the number of products available.  It occurred to me that we needed to set up guidelines for choosing which products we will sell.  It was a simple solution.  I didn’t start this business to sell anything; I merely wanted to collect my favorite resources and be able to put them in the hands of parents who desired to mentor and disciple their daughters.  I realized that the only thing I want in the shoppe or on the tables at the shows are things that I love.  We decided that Daughters 4 God will only carry books that we have read and books that we have used or would use with our own family.  We realize that each family has different standards, but we hope to provide a consistency in our product line that you can trust.  

New Products
During the fall and winter months when there are no homeschool conventions, our family has been reviewing new products.  Based on your comments and suggestions, we’ve added quite a few new titles.  We have also discontinued others because they don’t seem to meet your needs, are now out of print, or because they don’t match our new focus.  Visit the web shoppe to see what’s new!   

New Collection
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the request for a “sons version” of Daughters 4 God.   I never thought we’d carry products specifically for raising boys, but after much prayer, we are adding a limited inventory of books for raising godly sons.  Of course we haven’t used these books with our daughters, however I would use them if I had sons.  We pray that you and your sons will be blessed by the new resources.     

 Nothing New Under the Sun…
Some things haven’t changed.  We continue to be committed to supporting parents as they raise godly children.  We will continue to value excellence in our products and services. We will continue to respond to your questions by phone or email.   We will continue to place God and our family above our ministry, knowing that our testimony is useless if we aren’t doing what we encourage you to do.  Finally, we will continue to value your support and encouragement.  Our goal is not to make a million but to make a difference. 

May God bless you as you raise generations for His glory,
Harold and Joy Moore

Hello, friends!

This is Victoria, Joy’s eldest daughter.  I wanted to let you know about some exciting changes going on for Daughters 4 God.

We’re looking forward to attending the homeschool shows across the nation this year.  We’re even traveling to some new locations in the next few months!
Mom and Dad (Joy and Harold) have been speaking recently, and are looking forward to more speaking opportunities in the future.
There’s a few new exclusive Daughters 4 God products on the horizon, as well as many other new products joining our online store and homeschool booth.
Lastly (for now, anyway! <grin>) we’re re-doing the entire Daughters 4 God website, including this blog!  (I know you are all jumping for joy!  I know it’s long overdue!)  This blog will soon become “article central” with frequent updates from Joy and the rest of the Daughters 4 God gang.  You’ll be able to read past articles and even interact with others as you post your questions and/or comments regarding the many article subjects.

We are so excited about all these changes, and are especially thankful to all of you for supporting us with your encouragement and prayers.

This blog will have some “work done” to it in the next few days, and I appreciate your patience as we re-write, re-design, and re-organize all things Daughters 4 God!

I hope to see many of you this Spring/Summer as we travel to the homeschool shows!

Blessings to you and your family,
Victoria

*UPDATE 03.17.09*

Hello again, friends!  I just wanted to keep you updated on our new website.  It is very close to being live, and we are very excited!  Also, the store is down at the moment – but we’re working on it and it should be up and running again soon.

Thanks for your patience!

Blessings,
Victoria

*UPDATE 03.20.09*

I have happy news for all of you! =)  Our store is up and running again, which means that our new website should be up within 24 hours or so.  We’re getting excited!  Blessings! – Victoria