We’ve just returned from a great weekend at MACHE—Maryland Association of Christian Home Educators. It is a curriculum fair of 4 buildings worth of vendors for all things homeschooling—curriculum for every subject, dissection specimens, microscopes, colleges, summer camps, support organizations, and even small appliances for cooking. This was our third year there and it is like “old home week.” We see other vendors from past years and meet new vendors, as well. We talk with friends from previous years, though I’m not great at remembering all their names from year to year, catching up with where our lives are a year later. Here are a couple of pictures from the weekend: Our family inside the D4G booth, A little girl and her Mom with matching D4G bracelets and mother/daughter charms, Abigail with a new friend who is wearing the same shirt, and Abigail having fun with Daddy on the handcart.
I talked with several ladies who had experienced great loss over the last year—the death of a loved one, two second-trimester miscarriages, a child ill with cancer. It reminded me how fleeting life is and how miniscule the frustrations in my own life really are. I also thought of the constancy and sufficiency of our God. In the midst of these very challenging experiences, these ladies were smiling and telling of God’s faithfulness in the midst of the storm. I am so grateful I serve a God who is bigger than any circumstance in life, a God who is more than enough.
–Joy
NEW product from Daughters 4 God!
You think it’s time to “have the talk”, but you aren’t sure and you don’t know what to say. That’s how I felt when my first daughter was approaching puberty. I had already written Lady Day, but I began to search for something to help me know what to say and when to say it. I found Passport 2Purity and used that with both of our first two daughters. But when I began to plan for the third daughter, God gave me the book The Gift of Purity to share with her.
Timing
How do you know when it’s time to have “the talk?” Each child and each family is different. Some children ask lots of direct questions; some ask none at all. Some families are comfortable with lots of information; some give very little information. The Gift of Purity was written for 11-13 year-old girls. I feel that if my daughter can conceive a child, she should know how that happens. We planned our time according to our daughter’s physical and emotional development. We wanted to make sure that she would understand the information presented and treasure the purity ring and what it represented.
Planning
I am a big fan of making detailed plans in advance, however I am flexible enough to throw the plans out the window if something changes, if something better comes up, or if God leads me otherwise. A plan is a tool to help you make decisions in advance, allowing you to have a more enjoyable time. Harold and I talked together and chose a few weekends within a 6-week period that would suit our family schedule. Ultimately, we made our final choice based on the lowest hotel rate. The book includes a detailed check list of how to prepare for the event.
Making a Budget
You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you want to communicate how special this time is. Depending on location, you should be able to find a nice hotel with a free breakfast for around $75.00 per night, less on the off season. I found a five star hotel on off season for about $65.00 a night, off season and without breakfast. If your budget won’t allow that much, maybe you know someone who would let you stay in their cabin in the mountains or their house at the beach. I even know of one nursing mom who chose to have their “weekend” in one marathon day because she couldn’t leave the baby overnight. The book includes sample schedules for these scenarios.
As far as meals, you’ll be eating dinner the first day and three meals on the second day. Since we ate a big breakfast on our second day, we saved some money by eating snacks for lunch. We splurged on a nice dinner. With our third daughter, our hotel didn’t include breakfast so we went to a grocery store and bought bananas, milk and donuts-much cheaper than a breakfast at a restaurant.
Finally, you’ll have expenses for gas, expense for a ring or other token, and entertainment expenses for your free time. Our entertainment expenses varied-one got their ears pierced, one got her first haircut at a salon, and another bought some needed clothing. One mom I know took her daughter horseback riding. Don’t feel guilty if your budget is tight. The weekend is not about spending money; it’s about the time you invest in building a stronger relationship with your daughter.
Choosing a Destination
When choosing a destination, you need to take several things into account: your daughter’s interests, the time of year, your geographic location, and your budget. What would your daughter like to do during your free time? Will it be swimming weather or skiing weather? How far are you willing to drive? How much are you willing to spend? Since Dad was joining us for a special dinner, we didn’t want to drive too far from home. In the end, the destination for the first two daughters was about one hour away. The third daughter requested a local hotel more than a year in advance of her special weekend and was surprised and thrilled when we pulled into the parking lot.
Choosing a Hotel
Most girls like nice things and atmosphere is very important. For all three girls, we chose a nice hotel during the off-season which gave us lovely accommodations for about half of the price. Many hotels include a free breakfast or have a hotel restaurant. Having breakfast at the hotel is not necessary, but is very convenient. I like using hotels.com because they have a calendar option for each hotel that shows when you can get the lowest rates.
Also, we spent two nights. We didn’t want to pack up and check out in the morning and we wanted to be dressed nicely for dinner and needed a room to get ready. The second night certainly isn’t necessary.
Sending an invitation
Make an invitation and send it to your daughter through the mail. What girl doesn’t like to get mail? I named the time “Purity Weekend” and I listed the date, departure time, and an RSVP name and phone number, but the destination was a secret. You can call it anything you want: Girls’ Weekend Getaway, A Celebration, A Special Time Together. I’m sure God will show you just what to call it.
Shopping for a Purity Ring
For the first two, we found a ring at a local jeweler which was within our budget and looked grown up enough for a young adult to wear. (Our local jeweler has a 50% off sale each year in January, so we planned ahead!) For the third daughter, we found a great deal during a holiday sale at a national jewelry chain and saved the ring until her “Purity Weekend.”
Preparing the “Purity Points”
As I prepared the “Purity Points,” I bought solid colored gift bags from a discount retailer, each bag a different color based on the color of the gift at the top of the pages in the chapter. All supplies for that “Purity Point” were placed in the bag so that I was prepared when we came to that section. I transported all of the bags in a large department store shopping bag so my daughter didn’t see them. I kept the bags to be used with the next daughter. The book includes a list of supplies you will need for each of the “Purity Points.”
Planning Free Time
I tailored the afternoon activities to my daughter’s interests and desires, and my budget! I wanted to find a “grown up” activity that reaffirmed her femininity. The oldest daughter wanted to get her ears pierced. We spent the day perusing bookstores and finally ended up at Claire’s to get her ears pierced. For the second daughter, I scheduled an appointment to get her hair cut at a nice salon – her first visit to a salon. Later, she also got her ears pierced. The third daughter needed some clothing, so we went to the mall and bought a few new items-a big deal for a family that more often shops at thrift stores.
There are many things you could do together. Take some time to think about what interests your daughter. Some free or inexpensive ideas are touring a historic site, going to a museum, going horseback riding, painting a piece of pottery, walking on the beach, swimming, or hiking. (I discourage movies or other performances that don’t allow you to communicate.)
Doing the Event
We left home and after we got on the road, I had our daughter read the introductory letter in the car. Then I told them where we were going. We stopped and ate dinner on the way to the hotel. The Letters from Mom and Dad can be read at the hotel while you’re waiting for food, or you can save them for when you arrive at the hotel. The letters of blessing open their hearts and set the stage. After dinner, we drove to the hotel and checked in. We took a little time to get settled and then we sat on the bed together as I read aloud the Purity letter to her. (Your daughter could read the letter if she wants to, but it should be read aloud.) We did the “Purity Point” and I finished reading the letter. As we got ready for bed, I let her talk as much as she wanted to, about whatever she wanted to.
In the morning, before we even got out of bed, I read the Sexuality letter to her. We did the “Purity Point” and I finished reading the letter. I paused in some sections, asking her if she understood and if she had any questions. When we finished, we got dressed and had breakfast. After breakfast, I read the Courtship letter, did the “Purity Point”, finished the letter and then signed the “Commitment to Courtship.” I mentioned to her that Dad could sign it when we got home. (Really he signs it when he comes to give her the ring.)
We hung out together in the afternoon and then came back and dressed for dinner.
Dinner
I felt the weekend was too special and too important not to include Dad in some way. We planned that he would join us for dinner on the second evening. For the first two, I searched in advance to find a nice restaurant nearby and my daughter and I dressed up in our very best dresses. I wanted her to know that this was a special time. When we entered the hotel lobby on our way to the restaurant, Dad was waiting in his best suit. Both girls were so emotionally moved that they cried. We took lots of pictures and headed to dinner.
The third daughter is a little more casual so we didn’t dress up as much. Dad was afraid she may have overheard conversations about the first two “Purity Weekends” and might be expecting him. He wanted to be sure to surprise her so he hid in the trunk of the van! After we arrived at the restaurant and parked in the lot, I opened the hatch and Dad jumped out. Anna was completely surprised!
My husband treated all our daughters with honor, opened the car door for them, pulled back their chairs at dinner and showed by example how a future husband should treat his wife. During dinner our daughters told Dad about what she had learned and what we had done during the weekend, without the interruption of siblings. Including Dad at this point was crucial because it established that all of these topics were open for discussion with Mom or Dad. Were the girls embarrassed? Not at all. At this age, most are still very open and uninhibited about discussing such issues.
After dinner, we returned back to the hotel and Dad presented his princess with a lovely purity ring, symbolizing her commitment to purity. He explained what the ring meant and placed it on her finger. This is also the time for Dad to sign the “Commitment to Courtship.”
No Mom/No Dad
The letters on Purity and Sexuality could easily be used by single parents. However, the Courtship letter was clearly written with the understanding that both parents were married to each other and a part of raising the daughter. I realize that there are many other situations, but I couldn’t figure out how to write that section in such a way to include all family situations. Don’t let that stop you. You can make adjustments to the text as you read it to your daughter.
Single dads, you may not be comfortable with an overnight event, but don’t pass up the opportunity to impart to your daughter the value of her purity.
Single moms, there are several options when it comes to presenting the ring. You could present the ring to her and explain the significance of purity. If Dad is a believer and actively involved in protecting her, you may invite Dad to come and participate in the dinner and be a part of giving the ring. Another option is to have a close male relative give the ring-your father, or brother. Again, this is someone who is actively involved in her life in a father-like role. Under no circumstances would I have your boyfriend present the ring. If your relationship doesn’t work out, it could become a bad memory.
Concluding the Weekend
After Dad left, my daughter and I spent a second night at the hotel and had a final breakfast together. We drove home with a closeness we had never before experienced; it was a heart-to-heart experience. I can’t say that everything was perfect after that, but for each daughter I can say that it was a very important foundational weekend in our relationship and that it opened the door to communication. I am still reaping the benefits today. Each of the girls asks if I have anything else to tell them because they want to do it all over again!
It is my prayer that The Gift of Purity will be a blessing to you and your family. Please feel free to email any questions you may have or any comments about your special weekend with your daughter.
As my daughters continue to grow both physically and spiritually I become increasingly aware that someday, in the not so distant future, I will most likely give my daughter’s hand in marriage to a man. As I am personally involved in ministry to young men I am aware of the great need for parents to raise godly men. Call it a selfish motive, but I need at least 4 parents to be actively involved in the lives of their sons, raising them in righteousness, holiness, and character – worthy enough to be the husbands of my daughters! =)
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the request for a “sons version” of Daughters 4 God. Even though our emphasis remains on serving families with daughters after much prayer, we are adding a limited inventory of books for raising godly sons. Of course we haven’t used these books with our daughters, however I would use them if I had sons. We are calling our “sons” section “Christopher’s Corner”. It is named after a very special Christopher to our family.
Christopher (we called him Chris) was a young man who came to live with our family for a few months last year. Chris ended up in our home, seeking an understanding of his position as a son of God, a son to his parents, and what “growing up” was all about. During his time with us, Chris grew up. God ministered to him and his heart in significant ways. And during this time, Chris touched our hearts, as well.
I have been blessed with only daughters. But should I had been given a son I could have asked for nothing more than I found in Christopher. He is the inspiration for the products we carry for sons.
We pray that you and your sons will be blessed by these new resources,
Harold
Welcome to our new home! We’ve been building and redecorating for more than a year, but it’s great to be moved in. We’re glad you’re here and we hope you enjoy your visit.
What’s new?
More than 12 months ago we began to rework the website. A friend had done our previous site, but our oldest daughter, Victoria, designed a new site and most everything was ready to go last spring. However, we ran into some challenges. We realized the site needed to be created using a different program, so Victoria had to start from scratch and learn how to use a new computer program. I completely underestimated the amount of work it would be since this was all new to us. I am so thrilled that we are finally “live” (on the internet) and so very proud of Victoria and her hard work.
Thanks to Victoria, our site looks very different. We now have an articles link which incorporates articles and my personal blog, which Victoria will help me technically moderate. (I will post as often as I can, but no promises.) Our store will soon carry a new banner with the new look, as well. And that’s not all that’s new…
New Book
Not only do we have a new website, but on April 16 we will release a new book entitled, “The Gift of Purity: Letters to a Daughter About Guarding Her Heart.” God gave me this idea while I was planning for Anna’s “Purity Weekend.” I had used Passport2Purity, with adaptations, with our oldest two daughters and both weekends were quite memorable. I had often told people that it was my favorite product we had. As I revisited it, I realized that our family had changed and that I needed to make more adaptations. Many of the examples were very unfamiliar to our daughters who have been homeschooled since Kindergarten. I knew I needed to make changes, but I was a little worried that the weekend might not be as effective.
Instead of adapting the product, God led me to create a new one, The Gift of Purity. Some of the same topics are discussed, but within the context of courtship and marriage. Anna’s “Purity Weekend” was filled with beautiful moments that she and I will always treasure. It is my prayer that The Gift of Purity will be a blessing to your family and strengthen your relationship with your daughter.
New Focus
While I was perusing new products to add, I became overwhelmed with the number of products available. It occurred to me that we needed to set up guidelines for choosing which products we will sell. It was a simple solution. I didn’t start this business to sell anything; I merely wanted to collect my favorite resources and be able to put them in the hands of parents who desired to mentor and disciple their daughters. I realized that the only thing I want in the shoppe or on the tables at the shows are things that I love. We decided that Daughters 4 God will only carry books that we have read and books that we have used or would use with our own family. We realize that each family has different standards, but we hope to provide a consistency in our product line that you can trust.
New Products
During the fall and winter months when there are no homeschool conventions, our family has been reviewing new products. Based on your comments and suggestions, we’ve added quite a few new titles. We have also discontinued others because they don’t seem to meet your needs, are now out of print, or because they don’t match our new focus. Visit the web shoppe to see what’s new!
New Collection
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the request for a “sons version” of Daughters 4 God. I never thought we’d carry products specifically for raising boys, but after much prayer, we are adding a limited inventory of books for raising godly sons. Of course we haven’t used these books with our daughters, however I would use them if I had sons. We pray that you and your sons will be blessed by the new resources.
Nothing New Under the Sun…
Some things haven’t changed. We continue to be committed to supporting parents as they raise godly children. We will continue to value excellence in our products and services. We will continue to respond to your questions by phone or email. We will continue to place God and our family above our ministry, knowing that our testimony is useless if we aren’t doing what we encourage you to do. Finally, we will continue to value your support and encouragement. Our goal is not to make a million but to make a difference.
May God bless you as you raise generations for His glory,
Harold and Joy Moore
Hello, friends!
This is Victoria, Joy’s eldest daughter. I wanted to let you know about some exciting changes going on for Daughters 4 God.
We’re looking forward to attending the homeschool shows across the nation this year. We’re even traveling to some new locations in the next few months!
Mom and Dad (Joy and Harold) have been speaking recently, and are looking forward to more speaking opportunities in the future.
There’s a few new exclusive Daughters 4 God products on the horizon, as well as many other new products joining our online store and homeschool booth.
Lastly (for now, anyway! <grin>) we’re re-doing the entire Daughters 4 God website, including this blog! (I know you are all jumping for joy! I know it’s long overdue!) This blog will soon become “article central” with frequent updates from Joy and the rest of the Daughters 4 God gang. You’ll be able to read past articles and even interact with others as you post your questions and/or comments regarding the many article subjects.
We are so excited about all these changes, and are especially thankful to all of you for supporting us with your encouragement and prayers.
This blog will have some “work done” to it in the next few days, and I appreciate your patience as we re-write, re-design, and re-organize all things Daughters 4 God!
I hope to see many of you this Spring/Summer as we travel to the homeschool shows!
Blessings to you and your family,
Victoria
*UPDATE 03.17.09*
Hello again, friends! I just wanted to keep you updated on our new website. It is very close to being live, and we are very excited! Also, the store is down at the moment – but we’re working on it and it should be up and running again soon.
Thanks for your patience!
Blessings,
Victoria
*UPDATE 03.20.09*
I have happy news for all of you! =) Our store is up and running again, which means that our new website should be up within 24 hours or so. We’re getting excited! Blessings! – Victoria
More than 10 years ago, we were expecting our fourth child. Back then, I knew of only one family with more than five children and having four was overwhelming to most people I came in contact with. I desperately wanted others to celebrate with us. It was then that I told our older three girls (ages 6, 4 and 1) that our job was to celebrate babies. Today we continue to celebrate each precious gift from God.
This past Monday, we celebrated the pregnancy and imminent delivery of a very dear friend of our family. They have a 16-year-old son and a 14-year-old daughter and are expecting another blessing. It was a joyous occasion as girls, young women, and adult women gathered together to bless the mother and child. They brought practical gifts such as outfits, lotions, and things for the nursery. They brought gifts from the heart such as a crocheted afghan, hand-drawn picture, and a handmade blanket. Most importantly, we spent time together praying to bless the mother and this priceless gift inside of her.
It wasn’t your typical shower, but it’s a concept I learned from Doran Richards and her ministry Blessing God’s Way. She co-authored a book entitled, Celebration of Pregnancy which describes how to have a shower-alternative that is God-centered. (You can find it on our webstore.) Blessing God’s Way is a ministry seeking to encourage women in three areas of life–maindenhood, maternity, and menopause. Last year, Doran completed a God-centered curriculum for girls and women to learn more about their bodies, specifically in the area of their menstrual cycles.
These materials will be presented at the upcoming conference, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, July 18-19, 2008 in Front Royal, VA. While I cannot endorse the material since I haven’t yet reviewed or used it myself, I can recommend that Doran’s other materials have been a blessing to my life. I believe that it will be especially helpful to moms who are looking for more biological information than is included in Lady Day.
For more information or to register, please visit: www.blessinggodsway.com.
God bless you as you celebrate the Giver of Life and the life He gives.
Yes, a new entry! Ok, so many of you may think that I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Not so. I realized that it was a bit difficult for me to keep up with my home, take care of my husband, homeschoool the girls, blog, write articles for the website, and develop new products. I found that I had to simplify. I made some changes to the commitments I had made and I’m pleased to say that I’m slowly making some adjustments that will allow me more writing time.
This past year has been a busy one for our family. My youngest daughter Abigail was baptized this year—the last of the bunch! Anna attended a tutoring center part time and I worked 5 hours a week in exchange for Anna’s tuition. We had tried everything from vision therapy to a reading specialist, but she still needed some extra help in her language skills. It was a success! Elisabeth auditioned with about 150 students and was one of 40 chosen to participate in a piano recital at Old Dominion University. Victoria enrolled in our local community college as a special provisions student. (She earns high school and college credit at the same time.) This was her first educational experience outside our home. (We’ve never chosen to do co-ops.) It was a great year, but a transition for us all.
One of the highlights was seeing some of you at the events this spring. It was great to see some of you who we had met last year and others who introduced themselves as online customers. We appreciate the support and encouraging words you have given us. It means so much.
We look forward to an exciting year ahead—new products, more events, and even a new web design coming soon! And last but not least, more blogs…
Last week some dear friends came to visit our family. The daddy’s had worked together 10 years ago and we had lost track of each other through moves over the years. After reconnecting with them recently, we planned a 4-day reunion at our home. The ages of the kids was nearly identical, but I wasn’t sure how their four children and our four children would get along after all these years.
It didn’t take long to find out. I felt like we had picked up where we left off. The parents were chatting; the children were chatting. There were so many cross-conversations, as there often are with girls at our house! Sometimes I just stopped to listen and laugh.
There were a total of five teenagers–17, 16, 16, 13, 13–but they didn’t go off to do their own thing. We all stayed together and played games, went sightseeing, cleaned up, and just hung out. It was such a blessing to be around these teens and to be together as a families–all without the aid of electronics!
After several days, my husband and I talked about how easy it was to reconnect with this lovely family. They had expressed that because of their standards, they sometimes feel alone in the community where they live. Sometimes we feel alone, too, because we feel we’re swimming upstream against a very strong current of our culture. You may feel the same way. Be encouraged that there is a remnant of parents who are swimming upstream from our culture and working intentionally and diligently to raise children who will love, serve, and glorify God forever. You’re not alone!
We’re back! We had to close the store (and the blog) for about a week while we made some upgrades. (Look under Blogroll at your right. Click on Daughters 4 God and it will take you to the store.) We also had to close the blog and start all over again, thus the previous posts are not listed. I will post them with their original post date. Thank you for your patience!
Last weekend, our family was privileged to participate in a homeschool convention sponsored by the Home Educator’s Association of Virginia. We were one vendor of hundreds serving the estimated 11,000 attendees. (Anna and Abigail, ages 10 and 9, loved to go to the second floor to watch the people pour in as soon as they opened the doors in the morning.)Since we were a new vendor, I was unsure of what to expect. We were so excited by the outpouring of interest and support of those who stopped by the booth. We laughed together; we cried together. Some of you have emailed or written how we encouraged you. The feeling was quite mutual. It’s comforting to know that our family is one of so many who are intentionally raising their children to love, honor and serve our Lord Jesus Christ.
When we got home, we talked about our new friends–the Morales family, and Miss Tanya, and the Wybel family, and others– as if we’d know them for years. I look forward to making lots of new friends. Please feel free to post a comment. We’d love to hear from you!
This past Sunday night was a special time for our family. Our oldest daughter, Victoria, was chosen by audition to perform in an Honors Piano Recital at a local university. When Victoria began lessons nearly eight years ago, she never imagined such a night. Her goal was to play at church for Sunday worship services. Three years ago, after four years of lessons and hours of daily practice, she met that goal and became a member of the worship team where she continues to play most every Sunday. But God had other plans and so she continued her piano studies. As I sat there looking at the students, I thought of all the hard work and collective years of preparation for this moment. Some goals in life are only achieved over a long period of preparation. Those goals are not for the faint-hearted who give up when things get tough. These students had persevered through the difficult times and emerged triumphant. What a joy to celebrate their victory! Maybe God has called you to something that requires years of preparation and planning. It probably requires diligence and time with few or little visible results. (Homeschooling and raising children are two such calls that come to mind…) There will be difficult days. Don’t give up. Persevere. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Be obedient to His call for your life. You will emerge triumphant!
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14
