You may think it funny, but I still read aloud to our girls. They’ve all been able to read on their own for quite some time but they all still enjoy listening to a good story. This past month we’ve been reading Mary Jones and Her Bible by Mary E. Roper, a true story of a girl who saves money for seven years so she can purchase a Bible in her own language.
In one section, Mary’s father comes home with some good news for Mary. “Mary, whose observant eye was sure to note the slightest change in her father’s face and manner, sprang up and stood before him, regarding his bright face searchingly.” This sentence caught my attention and made me think. Am I so observant of my Heavenly Father? Do I spend enough time in His presence, gazing at His face that I would notice the slightest change of expression? Am I so in tune with my Lord that I would see even a tiny hint of disappointment when I choose to go my own way? I want to know my Father so well, that I recognize even the slightest change of His face.
Mary knew her father’s face because she spent nearly every waking moment in the same room with him, opening her heart to him. Knowing our Heavenly Father takes comes in much the same way– spending time in His presence and pouring out our hearts to the Father who loves us. My heart longs to know my Father in a deeper way. I want to know His face as I know my own. I agree with the words of Paul: “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.” (Phil. 3:10)
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
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Merry Christmas!
Traditions are very important to our family. We all look forward to events and celebrations, especially during the Christmas season. I believe traditions are important to God. God gave the children of Israel specific instructions for annual feasts of celebration. He asked them to start the New Year with repentance, to celebrate the first fruits of the harvest with thanksgiving, and to remember the Passover and His salvation of the Israelites in Egypt. Each celebration was designed to remind the Israelites of their identity and the identity of God.
Today, our celebrations aren’t called feasts, we call them holidays. The word holidays comes from “holy days,” days that are set apart. The purpose is still the same—to remind our families of our identity in Christ and the identity of our Holy God. Here are some things that our family does to celebrate Christmas and set this season apart from the rest of our year.
Deck the Halls
The day after Thanksgiving our Christmas season begins. We turn on the local radio station that plays all Christmas music, haul the decorations out of the attic and begin to transform our home. The first decoration to be put up and the last to be taken down is the baby Jesus in the nativity. I want our family to always keep in mind why we are celebrating. Harold puts lights up outside and the girls and I decorate inside.
One of my favorite things is hanging the stockings. Several years ago, the girls sewed their own stocking as a sewing project. Each stocking is made of different fabric and represents the girls: Victoria’s is Asian satin with a bead fringe, Elisabeth’s is gold felt with a horse patch, Anna’s royal blue stocking has a curled toe with white snowflake buttons sprinkled throughout, and Abigail’s is red with a snowman complete with a carrot button for a nose.
Away in a Manger
In our culture it’s easy for the true meaning of Christmas to be lost amidst all the commercialism.
When Victoria was about three years old, I bought a plastic nativity complete with Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus, shepherds, sheep, wisemen, and an angel. (Would you believe that fifteen years later we still have all the pieces?!) As Daddy read a child’s version of the birth of Jesus, little Victoria made the people do whatever the story said. As the girls grew, the youngest one took the role of moving the people and we graduated to reading from the Bible.
O Christmas Tree
The tree is the last thing to be decorated, which brings us to one of my favorite traditions. Before we decorate the tree, each girl receives her ornament for the year, based on what has happened in the past twelve months. We have quite a collection: many musical instruments, ballet dancers, a stuffed tooth, a girl with braces, a girl on roller skates with a cast painted on with nail polish, a license plate, frames with photos, and more unique ones that would take much longer to explain. Some are homemade and some are from a gift shop. Often, we purchase ornaments while we’re on vacation. (After all, I have to have something to put on the tree after the girls leave and take all their ornaments!) Our tree doesn’t look like anything from a magazine, but I love looking at the ornaments each year and reflecting on the memories they hold. Now that the girls are older, each girl puts her own ornaments on the tree.
Angels We Have Heard on High
There are so many special events going on in our area during the month of December. One family I know always goes to the see the Nutcracker ballet, another goes to a Handel’s Messiah sing-a-long. Our family enjoys cultural events (and of course the girls love to dress up!) so Harold and I look for a cultural event to celebrate the season. Through reduced rates for homeschoolers and generous grandparents, we’ve been privileged to attend the Nutcracker, another ballet from a local Christian ballet company, the stage production of “It’s a Wonderful Life”, the symphony, just to name a few.
One thing we never miss is the Grand Illumination in Williamsburg, VA—about an hour from our home. We love to walk through the restored area any time of the year, but at Christmas time it is especially beautiful with decorations on each house made from God’s creation—dried fruits, flowers, and even oyster shells. On the first Sunday in December, they light electric candles in the windows of the houses, there are various musicians playing, bonfires burning and the then the finale—grand fireworks in three locations and synchronized perfectly.
Over the River and Through the Woods
As a girl, we traveled nearly every Christmas morning so we could be with my grandmother, about five hours south of us. We did get to celebrate Christmas early, but I missed being home. When we got married, Harold and I established that we would travel to my family the weekend before Christmas (about 6 hours north) and to his family the weekend after Christmas (about 5 hours west). We get to see everyone and we get to enjoy Christmas in our own home. It hasn’t always been easy to pack up the kids and travel, but I know it has been a blessing to our parents. Someday, I know I’ll be on the waiting end of those grandchildren running in the door just waiting to give hugs.
Here We Come a Caroling
Christmas just isn’t Christmas without carols. For the past ten years, Harold and the girls and I have caroled to our neighbors. We used to carol on Christmas Eve, but many of them weren’t home. Now we keep an eye out during the week before Christmas to see when our neighbors are home. The neighbors really seem to look forward to it. It’s a great way to keep connected to people that we otherwise rarely see.
O, Holy Night
Christmas Eve has always been a family time, but each year has looked a little different. When the girls were very small, we were part of a church plant that did not have a service on Christmas Eve. Instead, we baked cookies in the afternoon, had a quiet dinner and took the girls to a live nativity scene. We put the kids to bed early so Harold and I could wrap and assemble presents.
Years later, our little church merged with an established church (that’s a story for another article!). This new church began a Christmas Eve celebration with music and worship dance that continues to this day. We traded our quiet Christmas Eve dinner for being a part of celebrating our Savior’s birth with our church family. Over the years, our family has played handbells, the girls have been angels and dancers, and Harold, Victoria, and I have been narrators—thankfully not all in one year! Many years we’ve had two different services and left church quite late, but we always take the long way home and admire the lights in the city.
Birthday of a King
My mother comes from a family of eight children who continue to get together every Christmas. Some years there were as many as 80 uncles, aunts, and cousins at the reunion. Though many of the families were following Christ, my grandmother made sure she made the most of every opportunity to continue to plant seeds in the lives of her family. Each Christmas baby Jesus was removed from her nativity and put on the cake she had made. Then all the children would gather round as she lit candles and we all sang “Happy Birthday” to Jesus. My grandmother now celebrates Christmas with her Lord, but my Aunt carries on the tradition for the great and great-great grandchildren.
When the girls were younger, we made a special, very symbolic birthday cake for Jesus from information that my friend Lucinda gave me. I have posted our special “recipe” in a separate document. (click here) I’ve used this cake for our family Christmas celebration, for Sunday School groups and Bible study groups. This year, one of the girls asked if we could do it again. You’re never too old to sing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus.
From March of the Toys to Simple Gifts
I will never forget the year of the ungrateful Christmas. God had blessed us immeasurably. Harold, our two oldest girls and I had moved into a new home and we were excitedly expecting daughter #3. Money was tight, but Harold and I sacrificed so the girls would have a great Christmas. (Read: lots of presents to open) On Christmas morning, Harold reminded the girls of the baby Jesus we were celebrating, why we were giving them gifts, and then we prayed together. From that moment on, they were out of control, running from one present to the next, calling out to us, “What’s next?” “Is that all?” Harold and I were dumbfounded. Whose kids were these, these ungrateful preschoolers? We knew something had to change.
After much prayer, Harold and I decided to try something new. We would open one present at a time while everyone watched. Then the girls had time to thank whoever gave the present. And the big one…each girl would receive only three presents to open. It was hard for me because I like to give presents, but it helped the girls to know how many presents they had to open and no one asked, “Is that all?” (Truly, the girls had more than three presents to open, since they bought presents for each other that we also opened on Christmas morning.) It also helped me to choose carefully and to set a limit instead of picking up just one more thing. Today, we still carry on the tradition of three presents to open, but now we’ve added one in the stocking so technically that’s four. (Sometimes we’ve included two closely related items wrapped in one package such as a doll and a doll outfit or a boombox and batteries.) These aren’t three expensive presents, like ipods or other electronics. Last year, Anna and Abigail each received a red felt cape that I made. Elisabeth got a cookbook I made. Victoria got a scrapbook of pictures from her trip to Asia. Simple, but the girls loved them.
Click here to read more about the Three Gift Policy…
Now it’s your turn…
Our family looks forward to our Christmas traditions with great anticipation. We love to tell stories of our traditions and we love to hear the stories of other families. If you have a tradition that you’d like to share, we’d love to hear from you. Please post your ideas to this article. May God bless your family, however you choose to celebrate the birth of our Savior.
I love to give gifts–not just any gift, but gifts that touch the heart. Finding the perfect gift for someone is not always easy. Often it requires a little more effort on the part of the giver. Making a gift is a guaranteed way to give someone a one-of-a-kind present. When we give someone something we’ve made, we not only give them the tangible treasure, but also the gift of our time that we gave to create the precious gift.
I come from a long line of women who were incredibly gifted at creating things with their hands. I have a lace doily that was made by my great-grandmother; both of my grandmothers made beautiful quilts to give their grandchildren for weddings or graduations. My mom passed down the value of creating things for others. She sewed the tiny clothes she took to baby showers and crocheted clothes for my doll for Christmas. Deep in our hearts I believe we want to make things with our hands—even if we consider ourselves challenged in skill or in time available! Unfortunately my skill level and available time have been in short supply for many years, so for years I have searched for the simple, the quick, and of course the relatively inexpensive gifts that would be special to my family. Here are some gift ideas for Christmas or any time of the year.
Cradle and Blanket
When Victoria was two, her Christmas present was a homemade doll cradle. It is a treasure that has found its way to Victoria’s corner of the attic, saved for the next generation of Moore’s.
1. Purchase an unfinished wooden cradle from a craft store and paint suitable for wood. You could spray a coat of polyurethane, which would make it last longer.
2. Sand the cradle, especially the edges. Then paint the cradle with two coats of paint. You can get fancy and paint flowers or even get rub on transfers. Victoria’s cradle had a heart cut out on the headboard portion, which was decoration enough for me.
3. Purchase two different coordinating cotton fabrics. I chose one fabric that had lines so I had help in sewing straight lines on the quilt. (Look in the quilting area or remnants for an even lower price.)
4. To make the mattress, cut two pieces of fabric. Each one should be the measurement of the bed area of the cradle plus 1 ¼ inches extra in width (the narrow side) and 1 ½ inches extra in length (the long side) which allows for the batting and for a half-inch seam allowance. With wrong sides together, sew around three sides. When you turn the fabric inside out to show the right side of the fabric, it will look like a bag.
5. Insert a piece of batting the same measurement as the bed area of the cradle. Take the remaining unsewn edge at the top of the “bag” and fold it down twice, so the raw edge is not showing. Pin the folded edge and sew the bag closed. You’ve finished the mattress!
6. Next, make a “quilt” by sewing two pieces of fabric together with the same process as above, except without the batting. These fabric pieces should be the same length as above (cradle area + 1 ¼ inches extra) but the width should be 2 times the width of the cradle area, plus 1 inch extra for seam allowance. Before you sew the “bag” closed, iron the seams to make it lay flat. Stitch “stripes” across in both directions, making it look like a checkered board, which gives it a quilted look. (If your fabric doesn’t have lines, you may want to make your own lines with chalk.) You have finished your quilt! Congratulations!
Fleece Blanket
Directions at: http://www.fleeceblanket.org/No-Sew-Fleece-Blanket.html
This is so great because you don’t need to know how to sew, only how to cut a relatively straight line. The basic idea is that you have two pieces of fabric, cut fringes around the edges, and tie the fringes together. I used prints for each girl based on their interests. I even found fabric that coordinated with the comforter in one girl’s room. Be sure to watch for sales at your local fabric center. They often run fleece for 50% off.
Fleece Poncho
Directions at: http://www.ehow.com/how_2049852_make-fleece-poncho.html
A few years back, ponchos were all the rage. My friend Theresa and I got together to make these ponchos for our girls, who were then 7-10 years old. I then used the extra pieces of fabric to make ponchos for their dolls and my little niece. I ended up knotting the fringes, simply because I liked the way it looked.
Red Colonial Cape
Directions at: click here
I’ve made capes for our two younger girls, but I’ve also made this cape and given it as a gift. In fact, as I’m writing this, we are returning from celebrating our friend Brianna’s 12th birthday in Williamsburg. She was thrilled with the cape. The pattern requires very little sewing, only connecting the hood to the cape and sewing on the ties. (I suppose you could pin the ties on, if you had to.) The fabric I use is red felt instead of wool and I take two small tucks near the center of the back. You don’t have to take the tucks, but I found I liked the look better. I use 1 yard of 1 inch red grosgrain ribbon for the ties (cut in half) and a ton of zigzag stitch to attach them since there is a lot of stress on the ties to hold the cape up. The hood is a little pointy at the crown, but most of the time the girls keep it down anyway. The capes have been a big hit at our house!
Pearl and Heart Necklace
Directions at: http://www.jewelrysupply.com/index.php?main_page=1/vid_tech_crimping.html
I saw a picture of this necklace in a magazine and it caught my eye. This is a simple project for those who are already beading or who are interested in starting a new hobby. (The pliers are a minimal investment of about $8.) Choose glass beads or other beads to create the look you want.
1. Purchase, crimping pliers, pearls, 2 or 3 mm silver beads, one clasp (I used a lobster claw), one “o” ring, 2 crimp tubes, 2 crimp covers, a heart pendant, a length of wire four inches longer than you want the necklace.
2. Watch the video from the above link. Attach one half of the clasp using the technique from the video.
3. Divide the pearls and silver beads into two separate piles. String half the pearls and silver beads on the string, alternating. Add the heart pendant. Continue the pattern with the remaining piles of pearls and beads.
4. Repeat the crimping step from the video above. This time, weave the extra wire back through several beads and trim the excess with small scissors.
Since I made an identical necklace for each girl, I added a 4mm Swarovski round crystal birthstone bead as the last bead before the clasp so the girls could tell which necklace was theirs. No one would ever know that these necklaces were homemade!
Keepsake Cookbook
Recipe Template: click here
Again, there are no directions because this is so simple—time consuming, but simple. Several years ago I took our favorite family recipes (from moms, aunts, and grandmas) and decided to turn them into the cookbook I always wanted.
To assemble:
1. Purchase a large three-ring binder (with a pocket to slide in a cover), plastic dividers with pockets (from an office supply store, plastic sleeve pages, and cardstock. I coordinated the cardstock with the color of the binder.
2. Enter the recipes into the computer in a standard form. I saved each recipe under its own name, but all in one file folder. If the recipe is short, you could add two on a page.
3. Choose names for the dividers. I copied the dividers from my favorite cookbook. Handwrite the name or print if there is a template included. I used a Dynamo labelmaker. (Now there’s a great gift idea!)
4. Print the recipes on cardstock, one side only.
5. Slide the recipes in plastic sleeves, back to back, one on each side of the sleeve. The two layers of cardstock make the pages stiff. I love the sleeves because if you drop food on the recipe, you can easily wipe it off!
6. File the sleeves in the notebook according to the divider title.
7. Add a personalized cover.
It was a ton of work to do the first time, but I love having the recipes. When someone asks for one, I can easily email it or print it out. One year I printed some of the recipes and bound them in a small cookbook to give my friends for Christmas. Best of all, when I wanted to give my second daughter a cookbook, all I had to do was print. It’s a great heritage to pass on.
Name Frame
For a template: click here
Many times in scripture the introduction of a character includes the meaning of their name. I believe that when we name our children, it is a spiritual act declaring who they are. Every time we speak our child’s name, we speak who they are.
I was particularly moved when I looked up Victoria’s middle name, LaNelle, her grandmother’s middle name made up by Victoria’s great-grandmother. From my French studies, I knew “La” means “the”, but I wasn’t sure of Nelle. I looked it up and found it means “witness.” Pretty cool for a girl who has a heart for missions! I stood in the store and cried. God knew our daughter and put in our hearts the perfect name for her. She, and each of our girls, have a name frame in their room to remind them of who God says they are.
Instructions:
1. I bought The Name Book, by Dorothy Astoria, at a local Christian bookstore. It has meanings of names including the spiritual connotation and coordinating scriptures.
2. Purchase inexpensive 4×6 or 5×7 frames. Keep your eyes open for a good deal on frames. I even found some lovely gold-leaf frames at Dollar Tree—really!
3. Purchase paper or cardstock in the color of your choice. This should be based on your recipient. I often use parchment paper because it looks so nice. I found a mixed pack of parchment paper (pink, blue, grey, and natural) at Walmart.
4. Using the template, fill in the blanks for name, language of origin, spiritual connotation and scripture. I change the font based on the recipient—a fancy script for my dear friends, a more juvenile font for a baby’s room, a contemporary font for a dear friend who likes things a little more simple. Mostly I use a black font on the parchment, but a colored font on plain white paper/cardstock.
5. If you aren’t great with computer margins and settings, use the paper in the frame as a guideline for sizing your name page correctly. Be sure to center the guide paper, trace around the edges, and then trim the name page to the correct size. Place it in the frame and admire your work!
There are so many ways to customize this gift—frame, paper, font and for whatever style of person you’re giving to—masculine, juvenile, formal, contemporary. The name frame makes a great gift for a baby shower, if you know the name of the little one.
Small Scrapbook
Capturing and documenting life is important to me and there is no better way than through pictures and videos. About ten years ago, I made my first scrapbook—which was nearly the last! It was something I really enjoyed, but my busy schedule wouldn’t allow for such a time consuming hobby. Two years ago, I discovered a great alternative in Walmart’s scrapbook section—a scrapbook kit: a 10×10 scrapbook with pages, background paper, precut coordinating paper designs, stickers, and detailed instructions for how to create each page, all packaged in keepsake box that matches the finished scrapbook. The kit lacks only an adhesive and can be purchased in either a red-or blue-colored theme. In about an hour your scrapbook can be assembled and ready for your pictures. It’s a perfect gift for grandparents!
Share Your Ideas
So now you know some of my gift-giving secrets. If you are confused by any of the instructions, please post your question to this article and I’ll respond with a post so it will benefit everyone else, too. I know these aren’t the only great homemade gift ideas out there, so post to this article and share your own homemade gift ideas! May these ideas inspire you to make some of your own gifts, if not for Christmas this year maybe for celebrations in 2010.
(Scripture references from the International Children’s Version)
The cake should be round to represent the world. It should be chocolate to show the sins of the world.
Romans 3:23 All people have sinned and are not good enough for God’s glory.
Genesis 6:5 The Lord saw that the human beings on the earth were very wicked. He also saw that their thoughts were only about evil all the time.
The icing should be white to show Jesus’ purity covering our sins.
I John 1:7 God is the light. We should live in the light, too. If we live in the light, we share fellowship with each other. And when we live in the light, the blood of the death of Jesus, God’s Son, is making us clean from every sin.
Psalm 51:7 Take away my sin and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
An angel should adorn the cake as the first bearer of the Good News.
Luke 2:10-11 The angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, because I am bringing you some good news. It will be a joy to all the people. Today your Savior was born in David’s town. He is Christ the Lord.
Add a star as the bearer of glad tidings.
Matthew 12:9b-10 The wise men heard the king and then left. They saw the same star they had seen in the east. It went before them until it stopped about the place where the child was. When the wisemen saw the star, they were filled with joy.
Twelve red candles show Jesus’ blood covering us all the time, twelve months of the year
Ephesians 1:7 In Christ we are set free by the blood of his death. And so we have forgiveness of sins because of God’s rich grace.
Evergreens should surround the cake to represent everlasting life.
Isaiah 9:6 A child will be born to us. God will give a son to us. He will be responsible for leading the people. His name will be Wonderful Counselor, Powerful God, Father Who Lives Forever, Prince of Peace.
John 3:36 He who believes the Son has eternal life. But he who does not obey the Son will never have that life, God’s anger stays with him.
Light the candles to show that Jesus is the light of the world.
John 8:12 Later, Jesus talked to the people again. He said, “I am the light of the world. The person who follows me will never live in darkness. He will have the light that gives life.”
Ephesians 5:8 In the past you were full of light in the Lord. So live like children who belong to the light.
Sing Happy Birthday to Jesus and blow out the candles!
I like to know what’s going on in our world, but my information doesn’t come from our local paper. There were too many photographs depicting blatant sin posted on the front page. I realize that this is news, but I don’t appreciate the images being recorded in the minds of my family.
Recently, I was online checking news and ran across an article about the death of Eunice Shriver. I knew her name well as the founder of the Special Olympics and an advocate for those with disabilities. (I worked with hearing-impaired children before my daughters were born and among my colleagues she was an example of how to affect change.) The article told about how Eunice Shriver had founded the Special Olympics and opened the eyes of the public to the needs of the mentally disabled by openly disclosing the needs of her own mentally retarded sister. She received many honors including the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the French Legion of Honor, the Lasker Award for public service, and the Theodore Roosevelt Award of the National Collegiate Athletic Association. Some have said that she should’ve been president.
Deep into the third page near to the end of the article, it mentioned that she was the mother of four sons and a daughters, saying that she “thoroughly believed ‘in motherhood as the nourishment of life,’ once writing that ‘it is the most wonderful, satisfying thing we can do.’” It is a rare thing in our culture for an accomplished woman, by the world’s standards, to recognize the value of motherhood.
Motherhood has always held a place of high esteem in my world. The example of my own mother gave me a strong desire to follow in her footsteps. It was only when I found myself a high school graduate without a sweetheart that I began searching for an alternative career path. I chose to study music education, hoping to use it with the hearing-impaired community.
When I was first married, I was hired to teach music at the only elementary school in the city that had hearing-impaired children. I began to write my own curriculum and work with others across the US who were writing the first nationally-recognized music curriculum for hearing-impaired. My job made for great conversation at my husband’s business functions. Then I had Victoria and quit my job. When someone asked what I did, they backed away so fast you would’ve thought I said, “I’m a carrier of the plague.” It was the first of many times that someone would communicate that motherhood was not valuable and that because I was a mother, I was not valuable. A discontent set in.
I have to admit that there have been moments when I didn’t feel satisfied in my “mommy world.” I wondered how it would feel to do something important—not instead of, but in addition to being a mom. I now recognize that those thoughts come from one who has taken her eyes off of her Savior and His plan, one who is trying to earn her value. God has been faithful to teach me that my value is in who He says I am, not in what I do, what I look like, how my house looks, how my children behave, or how much they know. When I keep my eyes and heart focused on the Lover of My Soul, I recognize that my value is in being His—His creation, His friend, His servant, and His choice to be the wife of my husband and the mother of our precious children. That is a satisfying place to be.
You can read the full article reporting the death of Eunice Shriver here. (NOTE: I do not support nor recommend this publication as a source of information. I am merely providing the source of my quoted material.)
Many moms come by our booth at homeschool conventions and tell me that they’ve purchased Polished Cornerstones. My follow up question is always, “Do you use it?” Nearly all of them say they haven’t. They don’t know where to start. It can seem overwhelming with nearly 600 pages of information on character training. Where do you start? How do you make it work? This product is too useful to let it sit on the shelf collecting dust.
Polished Cornerstones first captured by attention when I attended a local curriculum fair in preparation for our first year of homeschooling. It looked inspiring and overwhelming (and beyond my price range!) but I found myself drawn to it. I put it on a wish list—for five years! There never seemed to be enough money left over after we purchased curriculum, so after five years I finally budgeted for the expense. It has been a great investment and has served our family well. While there are some activities for younger elementary, the majority of activities are suitable for ages 8 and up, with some definitely for high school and beyond.
I’ve created a template for creating lesson plans that you can download here: Polished Cornerstones Lesson Plan Template. You will need one template for each week of study.
Planning
First, I plan which months we’re going to use the book. Some school years we’ve used it every month and other years we haven’t used it at all. I don’t feel guilty that we’re not completing every activity or even one activity for every character trait. Doing something is better than doing nothing.
Second, I pray and ask God to show me the weak areas in my daughters’ lives. I talk with my husband too, because he sees things I don’t. I also look for areas that the girls might enjoy, like hospitality. I make a list and then narrow it down to assign one character trait for each month of our study. If one daughter needs it, we all study it. It’s good for all of us to grow in our character. I try to vary the topics between character and life skills. For example, last year we studied a woman who is organized, humble, courageous, and manages her money. Copy your choices on the lesson plan templates.
Next, I use the list of scriptures at the beginning of the chapter to choose one verse or passage of scripture to memorize for each week of our study. I base my choices on the ages of the girls, making sure that the concept and wording can be understood. Copy your choices on the lesson plan templates. I usually create a document that has all the scriptures typed out in the order we’ll use them. This page goes in the notebook that I talk about below. This makes it much easier to read together.
Then, I review all of the possible activities listed in the chapter to see which ones fit our family. Some require other resources you may need to purchase, some are definitely geared to older daughters, and others require Dad’s involvement. Some are spread out over a long period of time and others can be done in a matter of minutes. Some are scripture intensive and require lots of writing or thinking; others are more practical and are more “doing.” I choose three activities per week, based on the age of the girls, and varying the activities by alternating between writing and doing. Copy the number and letter of the activities, as well as the page number, on your lesson plan template.
Finally, I make a list of any resources or supplies we need for each unit. I also make a list any pages that I need to copy. Then, I order all the supplies and make all the copies for the entire year. Yep, I said the entire year. If I only prepare for the first unit I sometimes forget to order a book or make a copy which means we can’t do the lesson and we get behind. I put all the copied pages in the girls’ notebooks (and the list of scriptures to memorize) so that the pages are ready when we need them. Check off the column on the lesson plan when you’ve made the copies.
Creating a Notebook
I bought each of the girls a 1-inch, 3-ring binder (with pockets) and divider tabs. I labeled the tabs with the character trait and then inserted the copies for each unit behind each tab. Over the years, they’ve kept the same notebook, adding more tabs for each new unit. We don’t always keep our units in order chronologically, but I ask the girls to date their work for future reference. You could even add 3-ring pocket folders to hold mementos, if needed.
There are reproducible pages suitable for each girl to keep record of her accomplishments. You could also keep records by copying your lesson plans after you’ve finished your study and placing those in each daughter’s notebook.
Class Time
We usually spend about an hour a day, four days a week. (Until this year, we had an hour delay on Thursday morning because of late nights at church on Wednesday!) I only choose three activities because I don’t like being in a rush and that allows me space if something takes me longer than I thought. (The lesson plan template has space for four activities for those who can fit in more.) Each time we meet together, the girls bring their notebook, their Bible and a pencil. Remember to record the date you complete the activity on the lesson plan template. One year, we met with another family of girls once a week and worked together on some sewing activities in the “Godly Woman” unit. The girls enjoyed that very much.
Worth the Work
This may seem like a lot of work. Really, it’s not too bad and well worth the investment. God has always been faithful to lead me to just the right character traits and just the right activities. We use our month of study to focus on instruction, but also on changing behavior. Then when situations arise, I refer back to the scriptures and principles we learned. Overall, I have seen a lot of growth in the areas we’ve studied. Our study of hospitality has yielded much fruit, as we often have guests who remark about how welcome they feel in our home.
I’m not saying Polished Cornerstones is the only character curriculum you should use, or even that it’s the best one out there. I will say that it is has worked well for our family and that we have seen much fruit. It is a flexible tool which parents can use to teach their daughter godly character.
Available from www.Daughters4God.com or from Doorposts for $48.00
Doorposts has a similar book, Plants Grown Up, to train sons in Godly character.
Yes, I’m already shopping for Christmas. My mother’s goal was to finish all her Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving. It didn’t occur to me to do anything differently, so I adopted her plan nearly 25 years ago. I’ve found there are several good reasons to start shopping early, but here are just a few: I can enjoy the month of December, I can shop without pressure which decreases impulse buying, I can spread the cost over several months instead of making a huge dent in our December budget, I have time to make presents which are often less expensive.
Daughters 4 God is pleased to offer two products especially for early Christmas shoppers.
Quantities are limited, so order early!
The Three Gifts of Christmas (by: Jennie Bishop)
From the author of The Princess and the Kiss comes this book about a princess who has everything—including a selfish, ungrateful heart. Desiring to cultivate a heart of thankfulness, her parents choose to give the princess only three presents. The change in her heart is what every parent hopes for their own child. Also included is an audio CD recording of the book. Recommended for ages 4 to 10. Hardback, 32 pages. Retail: $15.99 Our Price: $13.99
The 3 Wise Women: A Christmas Reflection (by: Christin Ditchfield)
Several years ago, a friend gave me this book as a Christmas gift. It looks at the Christmas story from a different point of view. (This is NOT a pro-feminist book, trying to emphasize the role of women more than the role of men in Christmas.) It powerfully highlights the lives of Mary, Elisabeth and Anna, emphasizing their strengths and how God uses women in different stages of life. I particularly like the way the author included scripture quotations (written scripture, not just references) and the historical context of these women’s lives. I believe that women of all ages will be encouraged by the lives of these Godly women. Recommended for ages 12 and older. Hardback, pages. Retail Price: $11.99 Our Price: $10.99
This recipe comes from a dear family friend, Louise Short, and has become a family tradition for our Thanksgiving celebration.
Preparation Time: 30 mins.
Yield: 1 pie
Ingredients:
¼ c. honey or brown sugar
¾ c. canned or cooked smashed pumpkin
1 qt. vanilla ice cream
2 graham cracker crusts
½ t. cinnamon
¼ t. ginger
Dash of cloves
Dash of nutmeg
¼ t. salt
Preparation:
- In saucepan, combine honey or brown sugar with pumpkin.
- Stir in cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg and salt.
- Stirring constantly, bring to a boil.
- Cool.
- Beat pumpkin mixture into softened ice cream.
- Pour into pie crust.
- Cover and store in freezer.
It was a rude awakening. It was Christmas morning and there were lots of presents under the tree. I specifically remember someone had given us a lovely dollhouse that we saved to give the girls for Christmas. I wrapped many small things individually so that they would have more things to open. That’s fun, right? Well after each present, the girls would say, “What’s next?” without even acknowledging the present they had just opened. Harold and I were dumbfounded. Who were these ungrateful little things that resembled our precious daughters and how did they get this way? Their attitudes concerned us so much that we began to make some changes at home, making a concerted effort to grow daughters who would become grateful and thankful for even the little things in life. We weren’t looking for an instant fix, we needed a lifestyle change and a lot of prayer! Here are a few of the changes we made in our family.
Three Gifts
I had heard of families who gave their children three gifts, but I didn’t want to be one of them. I like giving my children presents. How could I ever limit myself to three! Would the girls be angry? Would we ruin them? Then we started calculating how many gifts our girls actually received: several from Harold’s parents, several from my parents, and several from aunts and uncles. They weren’t lacking presents to open. Harold and I decided that Harold and I would give each girl only three gifts the next Christmas. We talked to the girls and prepared them in advance so they wouldn’t be disappointed. Our Christmas the following year was a precious time of excitement. No one asked what was next, because they could count to three! And so, the “Three Gift Policy” was adopted.
Over the years our “Three Gift Policy” has changed slightly. It may change again, but in 2009, this is how it looks. On the day we decorate the Christmas tree, the girls receive an ornament representing the past year. (More about that tradition in December’s newsletter!) Then on Christmas Day, the girls have three presents to open from us as well as a small present in their stocking. (Sometimes they have more than three gifts from us, but they each have four to open, if you include the stocking. Depending on the budget, I may combine two similar gifts such as a portable CD player and a CD or a sewing basket filled with a sewing kit.)
The girls also buy gifts for each other. I used to take them to Dollar Tree, but now they save up their own money and ask me to take them to specific shops, including the thrift store. I love seeing what they choose for each other, taking time to consider their budget and their sisters’ desires.
Several of the girls have expressed to us that they would like to use the “Three Gift Policy” with their own children, providing their husband is in agreement. I am grateful God showed us another way. Our Christmas is filled with so much joy. And I thought it might ruin them.
Start a Modeling Career
When I first noticed my ungrateful girls, God challenged me to examine my own heart. Was I content with what God had given me? What attitude was I portraying to my girls? What was the message I was sending with my words? “If only we could afford…”, “I wish we could…”, “I wish we had…” I was the one who was setting the tone of my home. As I began to speak from a grateful heart about my thankfulness for beautiful sunsets, parking spaces close to the door, and answered prayers, I discovered that the words of my daughters began to echo my own grateful heart.
I was also convicted about another area of my speech. It’s easy to become so familiar with each other that you neglect the simple kindnesses of life. We try very hard to always use please and thank you with each other, even when we’re at home. Certainly the words are not always attached to the true heart of thankfulness, but it does encourage an awareness of being grateful and thankful for what someone else has done for you.
Put off Hindrances
A few months after the Christmas fiasco, we made some changes to our daily life. We discontinued watching broadcast television. Without the constant barrage of commercials I found that the girls were more content with what they had and weren’t constantly asking for something. When I asked them to make a Christmas list the following year, they had a difficult thing thinking of what they wanted! We also limited our shopping trips, especially to the mall. When one of our daughters was about seven, she would walk through the store picking up things and saying, “Mom, we really need this!” I would remind her why we didn’t really need that and then she’d find something else. I’m happy to say that today, she has a grateful heart and is very careful how she spends her money.
Lastly, we limited catalogs which reminded the girls of what they didn’t have. I like to shop online (avoiding the stores) so I receive many catalogs, especially around Christmas time. The girls would take the catalogs and begin to highlight what they wanted, or “needed” as they would sometimes say. Limiting the catalogs made the girls grateful for whatever our budget could afford.
“No Choice Days”
Somewhere around the age of four, our oldest daughter, Victoria, decided that she was ready to make decisions. She never said it in those words, but all of a sudden everything we chose wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to wear that dress; she wanted to watch that video; she didn’t want to eat that for breakfast. We were first-time parents and bought into it for a little while, giving her two acceptable choices and allowing her to make the decision. She grew increasingly ungrateful. Then we began to institute “no choice” days—mom or dad chose everything including what to eat, what to wear, what to do.
Over the years, every one of the girls would discover “no choice” days. Sometimes we had “no choice” weeks, sometimes just one day in a month. Generally, we had “no choice” days until I could see a thankful and grateful heart for what I chose. I found that as the girls became content with our choices, they became grateful for the simple pleasures in life.
Cheerful Givers
I really like to give gifts to people—not just any gift, but the perfect gift that you know fits them perfectly. Even when our income was not great, we made sure to give generous gifts to others. We weren’t looking to draw attention to ourselves or gain some approval, we were merely making a point to our children that these people are valuable to God and they’re valuable to us. We looked for opportunities to give. We gave away clothes the girls grew out of. We’d ask them, “Who does this look like?” and they would name a friend. (It’s fun to see who’s wearing their dresses on Sunday morning!) As the girls grew, they would often find something at a store and say, “Can we buy this for _______?” If it was within reason in the budget, we purchased it or made it. Sometimes the gifts weren’t for an occasion, they were just because. Now, the girls use their own money to buy special things for friends for birthdays, for Christmas, or just because they see something their friend would really like.
One Thankful Bite
Years ago I was having a conversation with my friend Yvette about our children, mealtime, and how to handle food they didn’t like. She told me about her mother’s plan, the same plan she used with her own children. Each child is required to eat one bite of each dish that is served, even the dishes that the child “doesn’t prefer.” This was called their “one thankful bite.” This would stretch their taste buds a bit and encourage them to be thankful for the food they had without a lengthy diatribe on the conditions of children in Africa. Yvette’s plan has served our family well. Some still don’t like mashed potatoes, but others have learned to like things they snarled their nose at five years ago.
An Old-Fashioned Tradition
I started early helping my children write thank you notes for gifts they had received. When they were very young, they wrote some scribble, then advanced to drawing pictures and eventually to copying the words I had written from their dictation. My friend Kim has really mastered this. I’ve known her for nearly ten years and she has taught her three daughters well. Over the years, I don’t think a time has gone by when we haven’t received a thank you note for a gift we’ve given to one of the girls. Each of her daughters has their own stationary, return address labels, stamps, and a 3×5 card box with addresses of friends and family. My girls are much better at thank you’s than I am. I am great at writing the thank you notes, but somehow there’s a disconnect and they don’t get in the mail! I’m still working on that…
A Marathon, Not a Sprint
Keep in mind that cultivating a grateful and thankful heart doesn’t just happen. It takes intentional focus and consistency on your part. Sometimes it seems like it gets worse before it gets better! Don’t give up. A change in perspective doesn’t happen overnight. As I like to say, raising godly children isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. It takes determination and focus on the goal which can be miles away!
Today, our daughters are certainly not perfect, but I can say that they are thankful and grateful for even the smallest things. They don’t give me wish lists for Christmas or birthdays and they are genuinely excited for whatever we choose. They don’t have the latest and greatest clothes or electronics, but they’re content. They say please and thank you to each other, and most of the time I don’t even have to remind them!
If you feel that your family is in need of a grateful heart transformation, talk with your husband and make a plan to add one or two things to cultivate thankful hearts. There are certainly more ideas than what I’ve listed here. God is faithful and He will give you the perfect ideas for your family. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you have ideas that you’d like to share with the readers of the newsletter, please send them to joy@Daughters4God.com and write “Ideas” in the subject line.
